Sunday

I have been trying to find out if the kids that were shot by their mom in the welfare office are doing better, but I can't find any info.  I am not going to try and defend what this woman did, she must have had some serious problems that go beyond not having money for food.

But, I will say that I do understand how it feels to think that your options are very limited.  I know that some people will think I did this to myself.  In some ways may be they are right, but only to a degree.  I may have been able to stave it off a little longer than I did, but it would have happened at some point in any event.  I should have rented my home sooner.  But, that would have only given a few more months in rent money.  It wouldn't have solved my problems.

I am lucky in the respect that it is just me.  I can make do with little food for a few days or even a week if I have to.  I have found things that fill me up, even if artificially.  Apples and a glass of water will make you feel full.  It won't last all day, but it will help you if you are feeling very hungry.  You can buy an apple for about $1 and find a water fountain, so it will cost you next to nothing.  But you can't do that everyday without feeling very weak over a period of time.  Eventually you will need something more.

As I said, it is just me.  But for people who have to look at their children who are hungry, it must be a gut wrenching experience as a parent.  I don't have kids so I don't know.  But I would imagine the guilt you would feel for not being able to feed your children must be overwhelming.

The one thing that I know for sure is that government is not really set up to help people get out of their situation.  All they do is keep you in it.  They give you band-aids instead of the care that you really need to help get yourself out of it.  I don't even make the attempt to contact any government offices anymore, it is just banging my head on the wall and all I end up with is a headache.

This woman seems to be a special case in the fact that she didn't do what was necessary and then reacted by hurting her own children.  I read somewhere once that there is some sort of mental illness that when you can no longer care for your family the way you feel you should be you kill them.  Luckily it is very rare.  I just hope that those kids get the help that they need.  They will need a great deal of love and understanding to deal with the aftermath of being shot by their own mother.  I hope that they have other family to be sent to.  Foster care is not always a good thing.  You don't always end up with good people who want to help you.