Monday, October 31, 2011


Well I am back on the road again.  It was nice to get some decent sleep and a real shower for a change.  I have realized that no matter what I do I am tired.  I think my body is reacting to the stress by wanting to shut down for a while.  So no matter how much sleep I get I am still tired.  I guess this won't change until I am settled and the anxiety I am feeling is gone.

Today is Halloween.  I love this day normally.  But I won't be doing any celebrating today.  I have get my laundry done.  The place where I stayed was much more expensive to do my laundry that it wasn't worth it.  So I lugged all that stuff around for no reason.  Oh well, live and learn.  Now I know.

I went and spoke with that organization that may be able to help me.  They seemed nice.  I filled out the paperwork for the screening process that they do.  I have to go back next week.  Normally they don't want to wait that long, but my work schedule won't allow me to go back any earlier.  There was no time that worked for me in the hours that they had available.

I have another place to try as well and I have a phone number for another person who may be able to help too.  So I am hoping that one of the three will be able to find some sort of temporary housing for me.  I am lucky at least because the cold spell seems to be gone for the rest of the week and I will be fine in my car.  I can keep myself warm down to the low 40's pretty easily.  That isn't something that I ever would have thought in the past, but you can do it if you try.  Just dress in layers, keep your head warm, and wrap yourself in a few heavier blankets and you will stay warm.

I meant to tell you that I saw that young kid again.  Still in a tshirt and shorts.  I really hope that he found some place to stay for the past two nights because it was cold.  I want to give him a pair of sweats that will at least help keep him a little warmer.  But I didn't have them with me since I hadn't seen him in a while.  So I will start carrying them with me again so I can give them to him.  I have a few pairs, and like I said I realize that I am in a much better position than some.

I also have to go and buy anti freeze today.  I wasn't able to do before today.  It is hard when you have to budget every dime you have and any little thing throws you off.

It isn't my imagination about my hair falling out more than normal.  I couldn't believe how much hair was in the shower when I was done.  I don't look like I am going bald or anything, but if it keeps up at that rate, I would think I will be soon.  I can't let myself get too stressed about since there isn't anything that I can do to stop it.  I think it is stress related anyway.  Strange things happen to your body when you are under severe duress.  I was doing ok until I realized that the winter is coming fast.  That is what has gotten my mind so stressed.  Somehow in my mind I believe that heat was more doable than the cold.  I don't know which is worse.  The heat was pretty bad on a few nights, and with the cold you can put on more clothes and use blankets.  So maybe the heat is worse.  I don't know.

Well have fun trick or treating.

Sunday, October 30, 2011


I really slept.  Which is good because I needed it.  One of the worst things about being homeless is the lack of sleep.  You really only get about five or six hours a day.  That just isn't enough.

I tried to watch a rerun of that show The Five on Fox.  I don't know if the show just isn't good or I was just too tired, because I feel asleep before it was over.  But like I said I needed a really good night's sleep.  I am going to make myself more pasta today.  I even a little of the salad leftover.  I treated myself to some string beans and squash.  I can use the colander as a steamer.  So I am really looking forward to it.  I wished I had the tools to make turnips but I can't get to my storage unit.  Oh, well.  I am still getting a better meal than I have had in while.

Although I did find a restaurant that serves Miso soup for $1.50.  It is a good sized too.  I try to get as much vitamins as I can, but that is not always possible with a small amount of money I have to spend.

I am going to take a really long shower with the hottest water I can stand.  That is another issue of being homeless, you don't always get hot showers.  In many instances the water is luke warm.

Someone sent me a donation with a note attached that she is liberal, but wanted to help.  I never really thought  that liberals didn't want to help.  Although my experience has been that they feel I should be getting more help from the state.  Maybe, but it doesn't work that way in real life.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Saturday Part 2

Well I am all settled into the hotel that I am staying in this weekend.  It wasn't busy at all at work today.  Not good for the paycheck, but it did allow me to leave a little early so I could make myself a good dinner and get to sleep early.

I went to the grocery store earlier.  Boy, I have not bought chicken in a long time.  It has gotten very expensive.  I almost didn't buy it, but I figure I need the protein.  Although I eat nuts often.  Well, peanut butter.

I turned the heat up really high.  Higher than I ever would have done in the past.  I was pretty cold last night.  It really feels good to be warm and in a bed.  I am thinking I won't be up much longer.  A true sleep is hard for me to come by.

I hope everyone else sleeps as well tonight as I plan to.


Well I did get some good news.  I will be staying at hotel for a few nights.  Someone is collecting money for me and it will pay for the rest of the weekend.  It is supposed to very cold tomorrow night or I guess later now.

It isn't supposed to be too bad tonight so  I will be alright.  My hat really does help.  It covers my entire head and ears.  It isn't very pretty, but I don't really care about fashion at the moment.

The hotel has a little kitchen in it so I can cook myself a decent meal for a change.  No oven, but still good enough.  I am going to make chicken and pasta and have a fresh salad.  I don't get to eat that too often.  I am worried about my car though.  It won't make it that far.  So I just have to hope it doesn't get towed.  Which has become the story of my life at the moment.

I am also going to sleep and watch sports center.  I have an appointment on Monday with a counselor.  The person who found this person for me said that she was told that she works miracles with people.  I was also given a number of some Pastor who may be able to help me too.  I have been told that both of these people are not just going to help me stay homeless but to transition back into a normal life.

I am hoping that things are starting to turn around for me.  I figure whatever sins I have committed I have paid for and I deserve a second chance to get my life back in order.

Well the only way to go to sleep when it is cold is to do it fast  before you realize how cold you really are.

Have a good night.

Thursday, October 27, 2011


I am still really tired.  I think I need one really good night sleep in a bed and until I get that I will remain like this.  It is supposed to get pretty cold this weekend.  So I am bracing myself for even less sleep than usual.

If you really wrap yourself up in blankets and have on the proper layers you can keep yourself warm for the most part.  It is just the exposed skin that will get really cold.  So basically it is just your face.  I got a hat that will cover my ears, so it will just be my nose that will get cold.

I am hoping that I will stay warm enough that I will still get about 6 hours of sleep regardless of temperature, but we will see how that goes.  I am not sure which night, but one is supposed to hover right around the freezing mark.

I will need to get anti-freeze for my car.  I have been using water to keep it filled up, but with the cold weather that won't be possible for much longer.  But that is going to be a very expensive proposition because it goes through it so quickly.  I am thinking I can mix it with water, at least for now.  Mechanics out there, let me know if I am right about that.

The shelter was not very nice, but it will be where I will have to go I guess.  Beggars can't be choosers, so it will have to do.  I think I found a place that I can store my car for not an exorbitant amount of money.  I am waiting to hear back if they have any more monthly passes available.  It is $110 per month.  Which is cheap for this area if the truth be known.  But a great deal of money to me.

I have started to be a little more open about my problems and have gotten some good suggestions from people.  So I am hoping that I can find a non profit that will be able to help me shortly.  It is just such a maze though.  You really just don't know who to turn to.

There is a big walkathon going on here next month sometime.  Most people will have no problem giving money to them, but won't give it to an actual homeless person.  I guess it is understandable since you don't want to give money to addicts, but in a sense you are anyway.  If you are going to give money to the homeless, you need to find an organization that works directly with the homeless and makes an effort to make them not homeless anymore.  Otherwise, you are just keeping them in the misery that they are living in.  While of course you want to give them food and shelter on cold nights, you are just keeping them homeless.  It doesn't change how they are living.

I was thinking to myself that I could to the occupy dc thing if I got really hungry one day, but I just read that they are not all that happy about helping the homeless either.  If I am not part of the 1% or part of the 99%, what part am I?  I guess that means I am a nobody.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


I can't sleep.  I feel all spooked out where I am tonight.  The trees are giving these weird shadows and it is making me uneasy.  I have not felt this scared in a long time.  I think the stress of this is really getting to me.  My hair seems to be falling out at a much larger rate than seems normal.

I am still freaked out about that cop.  I am not sure why, as it was only a ticket.  But, he was so mean too me, that I am afraid of ending up on his radar.  Although, that is pretty arrogant of me.  I make it seem like he has nothing better to do than run after me.

I am really tired.  I didn't sleep well last night, and it doesn't look like tonight will be much better.  I am going to look at this shelter tomorrow and I am hoping it is OK.  Like I said, I am running out of options so it will have to do regardless.  There is a nice shelter but it is too far for me to get to and from work from there.  I also need to find out where I can park my car.  I am thinking that I may have to get some sort of monthly pass and park it in some garage, but that is just another expense that will keep me homeless longer.  But until I can get everything fixed so that it is more drivable than it is now, I can't only go so far.  The tire repairs and the ticket have thrown my budget into a tizzy.

Something that I have been meaning to bring up for a while now, and never do is bathroom etiquette.  People are pigs.  I am homeless and I leave the bathroom very neat, or as much as I possibly can.  Is flushing the toilet really that hard?  I mean c'mon now.  It takes you two seconds to reach over and press the button or press the lever.

I overheard this mother talking to her little girl the other day and she told her to use her foot to flush.  So now I have to worry about all the germs that she has on her shoes too?  You can't pick up an additional piece of toilet paper and flush that way?  That is what I do.  Just remember, people like me only have the option of a public restroom.  It doesn't take all that much to clean up after yourself.  If a homeless person can do it, so can you.

Saturday, October 22, 2011


My time is very limited, but I just needed to get this out of my system before I start work.  I am so upset.  Where I was sleeping told me that if they see me again they will call police.  So the walls are really starting to close in on me, and I honestly have no idea how I am going to fix it.

I have come to the conclusion that I have no choice but to go into a shelter.  Something that I really don't want to do.  But I  have completely run out of options.  I have never been questioned by police, let alone arrested and I plan on keeping it that way.

The really sad part is that everyone says we should do something about the homeless population, but when confronted by it, we just walk away.  Very few are willing to help them get out of being homeless.  Yeah, you will hand a few bucks, or give them a sandwich, and give old clothes to a charity, but when push comes to shove when you are confronted by it standing in front of you, most just walk away.  The man asked me if I was alright.  No, I am not alright, I am living in a car with little hope at this point that this will come to an end.

OK, I got that off my chest and now I must put a smile on my face and go to work.  Let's hope someone comes in and buys thousands of dollars worth of furniture today.  A girl can dream, right?

Thursday, October 20, 2011


God I am writing the wrong day in the title again.  I do that often.  It is hard for me to keep track of what day it is.  That bothers me.   But, on the upside, I have to tell myself that I always make it to work. 

I have realized how proud of myself I should be for working and getting there on time.  It is much harder to do then what some may think.  Like I said, you don't always remember what day it is.  The time seems to all blend together after a while. 

I am still working that other job where I am holding a sign to attract customers to the Halloween store.  It is better than nothing and it makes sure that I have enough food for the week. 

But, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have start doing things differently if this is going to change for me.  I can keep myself existing.  But, that is not what I want.  I want to get my life back on track. 

I have not quite figured out exactly what I am going to do yet, but I need to do that. 

I realized that sometimes I put things out there and then never go back to them.  So, let me tell you about the boy I met.  While he is really cute, he is also really judgemental.  There is no way he would want anything to do with anyone that is homeless, regardless of the reasons.  So I mentioned in passing that I had a boyfriend.  I know that I was right about him, but he hasn't spoken to me since then.  So I am better off without people like that in my life, even if I wasn't homeless. 

I have not seen creepy guy in quite a while.  That is a big relief.  But I am sure like a bad penny he will turn up again at some point. 

I will have enough to get two new tires tomorrow and then get my inspection sticker on my car updated.  So I can start driving short distances again.  That is relief.  Bringing your laundry on the bus is not the easiest of things to accomplish.  I still have not moved onto the next phase of repairs yet, so the disrepair won't allow me to drive too far.  But I am hoping to have that fixed by Christmas.  Unless of course something else unexpected comes up. 

I am sure there are others things that I have mentioned that I didn't let you in on the ending, but that is all that I can think of at the moment. 

I still have to pay that ticket, but I have one more pay period in which to do that with, so I am not going to leave myself short, so I will pay it with the paycheck after this one. 

I hope all is well with you all.  I am really tired tonight so I am going to try and get to sleep very early.  We'll see how that goes. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


I am having all kinds of trouble with my computer.  I don't know what is wrong.  Things won't open, it freezes up for no reason, I have to keep rebooting it.  The computer is old, maybe it is on it's last legs.  I don't have the money to get it repaired let alone a new one, so I can pray that it lasts until this nightmare is over.

I finally heard back from the one church I was waiting to hear back from.  But all they can offer is me is food and clothes.  I have money left over from my gift certificate for food that should last me until the end of the month if I am careful.  Also she told me that they could give me cereal and cookies.  Not to sound ungrateful, but cookies?  Is that what I am supposed to live on?  But this is what happens when you can't cook.  The food bank food is of no use to you. 

Well, they tried.  I told the woman that I would work in someone's yard to make money.  I don't care what I do, as long as I get paid.  Well, I should be more careful, there are things I won't do.  But I will do anything that is legal and moral. 

I am trying to watch the debate, but it won't load on my computer.  So I guess I will read about it tomorrow, as long as the computer doesn't completely die between now and then. 

Wow, I can't believe how well I slept last night.  I said I was really tired, and boy did I sleep last night.  I didn't wake up until almost 11 today.  I have not slept that late in my car since this has all started.  I knew I needed it, but normally I just can't sleep that late.  So I feel better today. 

I hope you all have a good night. 

Monday, October 17, 2011


I am so tired today.  I am not sure why.  But I can barely keep my eyes open.  It is hard when I feel like this.  There is no place to take a nap.  So I have just keep myself awake until it is time to go to sleep.  I also can't go to sleep to early either, or I wake up too early and then have no where to go.  This is one of the many annoying things about my situation. 

I have had more conversations with groups that are supposed to help the homeless.  But it is the same old story.  They give you a different phone number to call, or tell you that they have names and addresses of shelters.  But again, no real help to get you out of homelessness.  Just more ways to survive your circumstances. 

This is probably another reason that so many stay homeless.  The fact that you can't find someone to help just makes you feel so hopeless that you just acclimate it becomes your permanent way of life.  I had read somewhere that once someone is homeless for more than six months, it becomes highly unlikely they will get out of it.  I don't remember the exact percentage.  But I am already passed that threshold.  So the likelihood is that I will remain this way.  That is weighing on me.  I am starting to feel very desperate again.  The way I did when this first happened.  I really don't know who to turn to. 

I have figured out that calling these numbers is useless.  You just leave messages that never get returned.  I have start showing up and keep showing up until someone talks to me.  I have to become pushy, even though that has made me uncomfortable in the past.  I am normally a more passive person who doesn't like rocking the boat all that much.  But, that is something that I must change if I truly want to get out of this. 

I am lucky because of the Indian summer type weather we are having.  It should be very seasonably warm at night until Friday.  Then it is going into the 40's.  That is chilly, but bearable with the right clothes.  Two pairs of socks, my mid weight coat, and three blankets and I will be toasty warm as long as no skin is showing.  It is when you expose bare skin that you get cold.  My nose will be a little cold, but outside of that I will be OK.  That is the coldest it has been since this has happened to me.  No, wait it was 39 one of my first nights in the car.  And, I didn't have the right supplies so I was very cold.  But, back then I was sleeping more than three hours a night.  I spent most of time driving around.  That was before I realized how much money I wasted in that gas that way. 

I have gotten better at this whole thing.  One of the women I spoke to on the phone today said that you learn to cope and it sounds like that is what I have done.  I guess I have.  I am not sure if that is good thing or not, though.  The more acclimated you become to something the less likely you are to change it, right?  I would think so. 

I also found out something strange.  For that project hypothermia I mentioned before, they don't heat the churches.  How exactly is that different than sleeping in my car?  I am thinking at least with my car, I can turn the heat on if I get really cold.  Obviously I can't run the car all night, but I can warm myself up, or get to an all night restaurant.  I guess when you don't have a car, it is better than nothing.  But, it seems very strange to me. 

Have a good night all.

Friday, October 14, 2011


Today was a very uneventful day.  I have been looking for the young kid that I believe to be homeless.  I have been worried about him and his seeming lack of clothes.  I wonder if he is escaping an abusive home or something.  But, I can't find him.  Since I picked up my clothes I realize that I have a few things that would more than likely fit him. 

I also found these sweatpants on sale at Old Navy for $4.  I can swing $4 to get this kid something warmer to wear.  It is getting cold.  The Indian Summer seems to be coming to a close.  He is going to need something and soon. 

Maybe he has found a shelter to go to or maybe he made up with his parents.  I don't know.  I also have not seen the older woman who has the cleaning fetish lately either.  That kind of worries me.  I wonder if something happened to her. 

The woman who helped me get my winter clothes seems to be getting her life back on track.  A friend of hers has given her some paying work and she is staying at her home temporarily.  If you remember, I told that she has been homeless since January.  So she already has been through one winter.  I am glad for her.  I am hoping that I will be next. 

I have a good feeling about the people I met from that church last night. 

I heard back from that lady at the state again.  I told her that I am not looking for government programs because all they do is give you necessities, they do nothing to get out of being homeless.  I wanted non profits.  So she gives me this other phone number and tells me that they will probably just refer me back to the same people I spoke to yesterday.  It is so frustrating.  What exactly is the point of them saying that they are helping people?  They are not.  They give you some not very nutritious food, some old clothing, and a not safe place to sleep.  This doesn't help people.  You are just surviving.  I don't want to just survive and stay homeless.  I want to get my life back on track. 

Anyway, it is chilly tonight.  So I am going to try and get to sleep before it gets too cold and then I can't. 

Have a good night all.

Thursday, October 13, 2011


Today started out as another not so great day.  It has been raining for several days now.  That is always hard because you have to keep the windows closed and it gets stuffy.  I am feeling very tired and that always gets me down.  I am obsessed about the ticket that I received and the cop that pulled me over.  So all of this has been weighing on me.

I also talked to another agency today and they were less than helpful.  Matter of fact all they did was give me the phone number of the shelter I already stayed at where I was almost robbed.  I told them that I would not go back there. 

I was sitting outside during one of the breaks from the rain and three people came up to me and wanted to ask me some questions.  They are from a bible church that I have been trying to get to.  It is not on a bus route and too far to walk.  They were very helpful.  One of the men gave me a phone number of a shelter and crisis center and told me that they find ways to get through almost any problem and really help people.  He also told me that I will not be robbed if I stay there.  I also can go there on Thanksgiving Day.  That was another thing that was starting to weigh on me, wondering where I would spend the day, since virtually everything is closed that day.  I was hoping to have enough money to stay in that flee bag motel for the day, but that would require a two day stay really.  Not something that is really in my budget.  So maybe I can just stay there after having a meal at the shelter. 

But the three people I met today were very nice and gave me some useful information, they also gave me a pocket bible.  I have come to the conclusion that it is a total waste of time even attempting to contact any state or government agency.  They have zero interest in really helping me get out of being homeless, they are only interested in finding a place to warehouse me, like jail almost.  Any help that I receive is going to have to be from the faith based groups around the area.  Not that I want to minimize the people who have helped me through this blog.  Many have helped.  Thanks to all that have.  I don't think I say that often enough. 

They also gave me some money, which was a good thing because I had no cash and not enough money left on my bus ticket to get back to my car.  My car didn't pass the inspection as I expected it would.  I have to get two new tires, which I of course can't afford.  I am afraid to drive it because of that cop.  So I am back to the bus full time again for the time being.  I have enough for one tire, and I am hopeful that I can get enough together to get that taken care with my next paycheck next week.  My sales this week so far have not been great, but I have that extra day, and I also have at least two more extra shifts over the next few weeks.  So that should help out with the tires. 

Like I said, every time I feel like I am getting somewhere, something else happens.  I guess that is just life.  Or least my life.  But I have my phone paid for the balance of the month and there is enough money in my account to pay for my storage unit.  Those are both important to me.  I am very afraid to be without a phone while sleeping in my car.  I don't want to lose what few possessions I have left in my storage unit.  Especially since I have things from my mom and dad in there.  They are not valuable in a monetary sense, but they are priceless to me. 

Have a good night all. 

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


Yea, I have my fall and winter clothes.  That is a big relief.  I am so grateful that hurdle has been taken care of.  It is still unseasonably warm, but that is not going to last much longer I am sure. 

I also finally heard back from two of the non profits I contacted and have set up appointments for next week.  One of them gives no interest loans that you have up to year to pay back.  So that should get me some sort of housing with a roommate situation, at least I hope.  I have been waiting to hear back from them for quite a while now.  The process just moves so slowly that it gets very frustrating, to the point that you feel like giving up. 

I also heard about a church that will help with car repairs.  So if I can get my car fully repaired that would be another great help.  I am going to look into that on my next day off. 

Today is one of those days that makes me feel hopeful that this will be over with before the dead of winter sets in. 

I also have not seen creepy guy in quite a while, so that is another relief.  I was able to have a good meal today with a gift card that I won at work.  Salad and meat.  Wow, I have not had both those things at the same meal in like a year or so. 

So all and all today has been a very good day.  I get so few of them, that I am very thankful when they come. 

I hope that your day has gone as well as mine did today.

Sunday, October 9, 2011


I have been forced into finding a new place to sleep.  It actually is not so bad.  I didn't sleep so well the first night, but now I am ok.  I still have a place to use the ladies room so I will be ok.  But it was necessary.  The place where I was sleeping contacted the police.  That explains how I got pulled over earlier this week.  After thinking about it, there was no way that the cop could have seen the sticker on my car from where he was and where I was.  We were on opposite sides of the intersection. 

Anyway - I will get through this as well.  It just makes taking the bus to work a longer ride.  But I still have some things within walking distance.  I am even closer to a dry cleaner, and many of my fall and winter clothes are dry clean only.  I never thought about the cost of dry cleaning in my former life.  I just bought nice lined wool pants that I would wear with cashmere sweaters.  None of which will survive a laundromat.  I will need to be careful, because that is an added expense I can't really afford. 

The weather has been delightful this week.  Warm and sunny during the day and cooler at night.  It is going to stay this way all week.  Which is good for sleeping for me.  I have figured out how to keep myself warmer on colder nights though.  Layering thinner layers works much better.  Sleeping with a lot on is harder to do.  I also make sure that everything is fully covered.  Tuck in all shirts and put your pant legs into your socks.  If you don't have too much skin showing it just easier to stay warm.  I have only really been cold one night.  And that was before I bought another blanket and a mid weight coat.  The only thing that was really cold was my nose.  Like I said that was only one night. 

I have a lead on a job.  I am going to call the lady on Tuesday, so wish me luck on that. 

I am picking up my heavier clothes on Tuesday afternoon as well. 

I also heard back from one lady who was going to give me a good sale.  She originally told me she would be back in September and then never showed.  She called again on my day off last week and said something about moving and would be in to place the order.  She wants it delivered before Thanksgiving so she will need to place the order this week.  I also have another woman who told me she would be back on Wednesday and never came in.  She actually did come in and my co-worker, who is a snake of the highest order, told her she didn't know when I would be there.  My schedule never changes, I was due in twenty minutes later.  Plus she never told me that she was there.  Like I said, a snake.  All the managers know she is untrustworthy, but they don't do anything about it, because her sales are good.  Her sales are good because she lies to people.  She tried to steal a sale from me last week, I knew it was going to happen, so I went in on my day off to check the sales and sure enough she did.  I transferred the sale back to myself and told the manager.  She approved the change.  It was over a hundred dollars in commission.  Her husband has been out of work for close to two years or something, but she at least has a roof over her head.  I bet you anything she is taking government assistance, because there is no way she can support her family of four on her salary.  She isn't going to take my money without a fight. 

I am still picking up some extra shifts.  I also am doing this weird job of holding a sign at a busy intersection.  They pay me $25 for three hours.  It is boring, but every little bit helps.  But honestly, what else do I have to do? 

I am going to go and find the man who gave me money every week and thank him.  He is the only person there who didn't treat me like I was invisible.  We never really spoke, but he tried to help me.  And the money he gave me did help.  A few times that was all I had for the last few days before I got paid.  Most of the time I put it in the bank, but I have had to use it a few times for emergency flee bag motel stays while I was sick and during the hurricane. 

Have a good night all. 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Thursday Part 2

I finally found the jobs report for September.  Not good news again.  Matter of fact, very bad news.  Honestly, I don't know what I am going to do.  It is compounded by the fact that the cold weather will be here very soon. 

I did get to speak to the person who said she would help me get me clothes, but she is in a bad way at the moment.  Her unemployment will be gone soon, if not already gone.  That was the only source of income she had.  Now, she has nothing.  She has a friend who gives her work when she can, but I don't think it is all that much.  She has pay for food, gas, her car insurance, and other things too. 

That young man I kept seeing is really homeless, I saw him in the middle of night just walking around with just his t-shirt and shorts on.  While it is not too bad during the day, you need something heavier in the night.  I also noticed that this one man who I see sleeping all the time is a maintenance man, but I guess he isn't making enough to make ends meet either.  He is another who has a job, but just can't pay the bills.  I don't know his whole story, but it seems he is just like me.

It is amazing that this is happening in America.  People are losing everything that they have to this recession.  Desperation is setting in more and more.  It is too bad that the people in those protests in NY are really working for a different cause.  Because I would join in (in spirit) if I thought they were trying to help people like me.  I read their list of demands.  Downright comical is what they are.  No business could survive if they had to pay every employee $20/hour.  The prices of everything would triple. 

We need to stop the nonsense and find a way to spur this economy again.  People like me are only going to grow in numbers.  I know, I am at the front lines and I see it.  I see more and more people joining me in the all night restaurants for a lack of anywhere better to go. 

I still have not heard back from the three different homeless groups that I have contacted.  I saw some things on line for interest free loans from organizations to help tide you over.  I only really need $1,500 and I would find my way out of this, but no one has returned my call. 

I have another extra shift at work next week, so that helps a bit.  My paycheck is a good size this time around, but it is going to get sucked up with that ticket I got.  So I am right back to where I started.  On the outside looking in.


The person that is supposed to take me to get my winter clothes has been MIA.  So I don't know what I am going to do about that.  I will have to come up with a solution soon, though.  The weather has warmed up a bit, but that is not going to last much longer. 

I also got pulled over the other day.  My inspection sticker expired.  I am going to get it done tomorrow, but I just didn't have the money to have it done any earlier.  So now I have to almost a $100 fine by mid November.  Every single time I think I am making some progress something else comes along and takes what little money I have managed to save up. 

So I can forget about the additional car repairs for a while.  The cop was really nasty too.  It is obvious by looking at my car that I am homeless.  He asked me and I said that I was.  I realize that he is just doing his job, and I don't have an issue with him pulling me over.  But he didn't need to be so nasty.  He told me that if he caught me loitering he would have me arrested. Where exactly he thinks that I am supposed to go is something that I don't understand. 

Oh, well, there is nothing that I can do about it now.  I am going to stay put today and have the inspection done tomorrow.  The problems with car are not something that is part of the inspection so it should pass and I will be fine. But I am thinking I have to find some new areas to stay in.  I don't like the idea that some cop is looking around for me.  I am just a person trying to survive the best that I can under the circumstances that I am in. 

Well I am going to try and get something to eat.  I am very hungry today.  I didn't have much yesterday so I am even more hungry than usual. 

Have a good day all.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Well I had to work tonight or last night now.  I had a cancellation while I was off on Sunday, so today made up for the what I lost.  So I will start of my normal work week without being in the negative.  So that is good.  I have not been able to find the new jobs report, maybe it has not been released yet.  Not that it really makes a big difference, but I do like to keep track of that stuff. 

I start that temporary job later this week too.  So I will have some extra money.  Which is good as I don't have much left for food since I won't be getting those gift cards anymore.  So I will need to be even more careful what I spend on food.  But like I have said in the past I survived on virtually nothing for a few weeks over the summer and made it work. 

I was not able to pick up my sweaters from the dry cleaner today, but I will do that tomorrow.  I also will be getting all my winter clothes on Thursday.  It is not going to be as cold tonight as it was last night.  But all and all I have not really been too cold.  One night a week or so ago I was really cold.  But, I have bought myself one more blanket and that has helped.  I also have a heavier coat now too. 

The weather is supposed to warm up and be sunny for the rest of the week.  It is only supposed to be in the 50's after tonight.  That is doable.  There is a program that they do here in the winter called project hypothermia.  So on really cold nights I will have a place to go.  I was hoping this would be over by Thanksgiving, but it doesn't look like it will be. 

Although I talked with a man tonight who is buying a very large new home and has no furniture at all.  He is recently divorced I guess.  So that will be a good sale if he comes back.  He needs an entire house full.  So if I get a few more of those I will be in business.  But, I will be honest they don't come along all that often.  But I can dream, right?

Have a good morning all. 

Sunday, October 2, 2011


I have found three more homeless people.  Or at least people that I think are homeless.  One is very sad, he is really young.  He looks like he is still a teenager.  He doesn't have the proper clothes for the weather either.  I saw him asleep last night and he had his arms inside his very light weight t shirt.  I saw him again tonight and he was wearing a sweatshirt, but still hand on shorts and no coat.  It is cold and damp out and it is supposed to rain for the next three days or so. 

I have mentioned before that I don't know if it is becoming more prevalent or I am just noticing it more since I am in the same position.  I also came across this Asian woman, who seems so prim and proper.  But she is at this place every night.  Sitting with one cup of tea trying to keep herself awake.  She is middle aged, so you would think she would have some kids that could help her.  But who knows. 

I was glad to see that boy had a sweatshirt.  I was thinking I would have sweatshirts that could fit him once I pick up my heavier clothes.  Which I am going to do on Thursday.  I have enough with me that I will be OK.  I remembered that I had some things that I never got dry cleaned last year that were in the car.  I had four sweaters in there, two of which are cashmere.  Cashmere is very warm.  I normally only wear it in the dead of winter.  But I took them to the dry cleaner today so I will pick them up on Monday.  The other two sweaters are semi heavy, but will work until I get my heavier clothes.  My issue now is pants.  All the pants I have are lightweight for the summer.  But, I will have to make due.  I was able to get a medium weight coat for very inexpensively.  It has a fleece lining and I only paid $30 for it.  The woman who rung it up did it incorrectly.  I even asked her if that was correct, and she said it was.  When I looked at the receipt later, I noticed she gave me the coupon twice.  I suppose I should go back to the store and tell them, but I figure I did question it at the time. 

I also went to a different place to sleep the other night when I wasn't feeling well and there was another person sleeping in their car too.  See I have recently run into this issue of this young couple who are having sex in their car where I was sleeping before.  I really don't want to see that.  Porn movies have never held any interest for me, and I don't think a live show is any better.  I just don't get doing something like that in such a public place.  This is an area that has office buildings around, why would they pick a parking lot that people are going in and out of all the time instead of a more private location?  Maybe they want people to watch.  Who knows? 

I had a really good day at work today that will make up for all the days I missed earlier this week.  I sold as much as I normally do in an entire week.  I also looked up the sales for the days I was out, and I didn't miss anything.  I also had two messages from people who called to see when I was going to be back.  Both said they would come in when I am working again next week.  One sale isn't big, but the other is a good sized order.  So my paychecks are slowly becoming larger again. 

The car is still in disrepair, but it is better than it was.  So I am slowly getting that taken care of.  I have had no luck on the job front, but then again I have not done anything about that this week.  I barely could do anything all week.  I slept most of the time when I wasn't running to the bathroom.  I hydrated myself really well today and I am feeling better.  The massive headache I had for five days is almost gone.  Now that I can hold things down again I took some prescription Motrin that I had left over from a minor surgery I had a year ago.  I realize I should throw it away by now, but I kept for it emergencies, and I am very glad that I did. 

Even though I don't like the situation I am in, I do realize that I am much better off than some.  I, at least, have some protection from the elements.  I have some good blankets, a fleece lined coat and I also bought myself some heavier socks today.  For some reason they were on clearance so I got three pairs for $5.  The colors are not something I would normally buy, but hey, I am not going to complain.  All the other socks I have with me are just peds so I needed something heavier. 

Well I guess I bored you enough, so have a good night.

Saturday, October 1, 2011


Sorry I have been gone so long.  I have been very sick since Monday.  I had some sort of flu or something.  It got so bad that I had to dip into my stash and get a hotel room for two nights.  It is not fun to have a fever and chills while in a car.  Well, it wasn't a hotel exactly, flee bag motel was more like it, but it a bed and bathroom.  My stomach was really upset and I couldn't hold down any food so the bathroom was very necessary. 

Needless to say that I didn't work this week, and when I don't work I don't get paid.  But there was nothing I could do.  Oh well.  I am feeling better.  I am well yet, but I do feel better.  So I am off to work shortly. 

I hope all is well with you.