I think I have mentioned another woman who I have been seeing very regularly lately. She must be schizophrenic, she spends most of her time talking to herself. Anyway - I ran into her last night and she asked me for some money. I don't even have enough money for myself this month, so there is no way I can give any to her.
I watched her pull all of her belongings into this entrance way and go to sleep for the evening. It was cold last night. Not really cold, but still cold. Her coat isn't that warm, her hat and gloves are just knits, not even fleece lined, and her blanket looks really old. I felt so bad for her. She was still there when I woke up this morning too. She is just like that vet guy I see often. He won't take his medication, so he will never improve his life.
I have to keep telling myself on my down days that I am very lucky to have a car to sleep in. It doesn't run well, but it at least gives me some protection. I have warm clothes and boots. I have a fleeced line hat. My gloves are flimsy, but they will do. I don't have to constantly ask complete strangers for money just so I can eat.
I also realize that this isn't going to be the rest of my life. I sometimes feel that way, but it is just stress and anxiety that makes me feel that way.
I have almost no more money for the rest of the month, but I have some food stored up that I can eat at work and I am spending the night in a hotel on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I saved my money up for that. I will have a place to use the rest room, I will have a warm bed, a hot shower, and place to fix a small meal for myself. I am truly blessed compared to this woman.
So if I am feeling down on Christmas Day, I am going to remember that.