Sunday, August 28, 2011


I survived the hurricane.  I stayed in a motel for the night.  In retrospect it probably wasn't necessary.  We didn't have much of a hit in this area.  But since there was no way to know that, I was better off being safe than sorry.  I just hated the idea of spending the money.  That money I need to get my car running again.  But life throws unexpected things at you. 

From what I can tell there was flooding in all the usual places, some trees came down causing some to lose power.  Other than that, not very much.  I don't believe that any deaths are reported in this area.  So there is something to be grateful for. 

I didn't sleep very well.  I am not sure why since I was a bed for the first time in quite a while.  It was nice to take a shower in a much more private way though.  The gym isn't ideal for privacy.

Have a good night. 

Saturday, August 27, 2011


The storm is supposed to being hit this area anytime now.  So far it is only cloudy.  There are no high winds or rain as of yet.  The buses will continue to run on a normal schedule, at least for now.  I can find a place to stay for tonight, I think my issue is going to be if I use the money to stay for two nights.  I think that is most likely the best thing for me to do, but it is a big chunk of money for me to spend. 

I am just thinking that tomorrow will be difficult to get around, but I think the wisest course of action will be to wait and see how bad the damage is.  This is only my second hurricane, so I am not exactly what to expect. 

So far everything here is open and seems to be like a regular cloudy day.  People are out and about. 

Well, I am very hungry so I am going to head to the Safeway to get some food. 

Stay safe everyone. 

Thursday, August 25, 2011


I went and voted.  That made me happy.  My ID matches my the address on my voter registration so I guess it was all good.  The candidate I voted for lost, but not because I didn't try. 

Anyway - another good thing that came out me voting was I found a closer laundromat.  That made me happy.  I can get my laundry done in like half the time now.  It took me over an hour to get to the other place by bus.  This one is much closer. 

I am thinking I am going to have to rent a hotel room Saturday night because of the hurricane that is coming.  I thinking staying in my car with 60 mph winds is probably not the best of ideas.  Although I am sure I would be fine.  I am not parked near any big trees or anything like that.  I have read on several news sites that getting some supplies like bottled water is a good idea.  But it is hard for me since I have to lug it on the bus.  I have one gallon, so that should be fine. 

I am not going to be able to get my car fixed until my next pay period.  I have just enough to get it fixed, but that would leave me nothing for the next two weeks, so that is not a good idea. 

I did find another temporary job.  It starts in mid September and lasts until the end of October.  It is a store that will be selling Halloween supplies.  I love Halloween.  I have such good memories of that growing up.  Although it was pretty cold in New Hampshire by the end of October, it was still fun.  So I am thinking I will enjoy it.  I will only have three shifts per week, but it is something to add to my savings. 

I was hoping that I would be out of this situation by the end of November, but that is looking less likely now with all the money I will be using for car repairs.  Oh, well.  I am not going to dwell on that now.  I am just going to keep moving forward and see what happens. 

I also got some leads on two other positions and will be looking into those tomorrow and Monday.  I have to keep telling myself that my luck has to turn around at some point.  Doesn't it? 

I am pretty exhausted, I have had a busy week with filing out job applications. 

I hope all is well, and have a good night. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


I am all excited.  I am going to vote for the first time in a state election.  It is only the primary, but it still makes a difference.  I did my research and feel I am making good choices.  I hope so anyway.  It is a small race, but it is a step in the right direction for me. 

I realize that not being involved has led our country to where it is.  Too many of don't pay close enough attention.  I was one of them.  Although I am kind of worry that I shouldn't be voting.  I technically don't live in any district.  I am still registered where my apartment is.  I figure I am paying property taxes and that is where my mail goes to, so I should have the right to vote.  They get my money every month with my mortgage payment.  I think I should ask at the voting place, I don't want to cause trouble. 

I have no idea how I am going to get there, but I will find a way.  I think I will have to take like two or three buses, but this is important.  I need to become a more responsible citizen when it comes to voting. 

I had to work today because people are sick and I had a good sales day.  This is a new pay period, so I always like starting off a pay period with a nice sales day and it is an extra day of work.  So that is always nice.  More hours and more commission.  I am hoping that I can get my car fixed two weeks from Friday.  That will be nice. 

Someone threw a $20 bill into my car when I was sleeping.  I know it wasn't mine since I feel that my carrying cash is not a good idea, so I put that in the bank right away.  It is kind of scary that someone can get that close to my car and I don't even hear them.  But I never sleep more than five or six hours a night so I guess I need to make the most of it when I get it. 

Well, I have almost all my bills for the month covered.  I have my phone bill and insurance paid for.  I still need to pay my storage costs.  But, I will get paid before that hits my bank account.  So I will be fine.  I keep as much as I can in my second account so I don't spend it.  If I need to, I move over money so I can have enough for what I need.  I do need to take care of my bus pass.  I am almost out on that.  Only one more ride before it is not good anymore.  So I need to do that tomorrow, before I go and vote. 

I hope you have a good day. 

Sunday, August 21, 2011


Today was a good day at work.  I had some good sales.  I even sold some full price merchandise too.  So that of course makes me happy.  It will make an otherwise not so great pay check better.  I didn't sell anything at all yesterday.  Nada, zip, nothing. 

I was hoping to get to sleep early tonight, but that didn't happen.  There is this couple that comes to the restaurant that I spend most of my time at.  They always come in different cars and then spend about an hour playing kissey face in the smaller car.  It is very strange.  Their isn't a better place to go and do that?  I wonder if one of them is married, or maybe even both.  What really makes it strange is that they do this late in the evening and on weekends.  There are quite a few office buildings that have free parking after business hours that would be much more private.  It is weird.  Don't you think? 

I have been having some issues with my skin getting very chaffed lately.  I am not sure why, but it hurts. 

Oh, I saw that boy again today.  He is really cute.  But, I shouldn't be thinking about romance during a time like this.  But, I will admit a little affection would be very nice right now.  Good conversation would be really nice about now too.  But, how does one explain that they are homeless?  Oh well, it isn't meant to be. 

I hope you have been enjoying your weekend.  It is a little hot again, so sleep is much harder.  But, I have church tomorrow and it is a long ways on the bus, so I must try and get to sleep.

Have a good day.

Friday, August 19, 2011


Oh, what a day.  I can't find my cell phone charger.  I know where I left it, but when I called to ask if it was there, they couldn't find it.  I got caught in this huge rain storm and I am soaking wet, and I went and bought a new phone charger and it isn't charging.  The phone is totally dead too.  I don't like sleeping without the phone in case of an emergency.  I get really mad at myself when these things happen. 

I am normally very organized and very methodical.  Not anymore, and it just makes me crazy.  I can't find my hairbrush.  How do you lose something when you live in a car?  I also misplaced my bus pass a few weeks ago.  I did find it eventually, but had to buy a new one for the days I couldn't find it.  When I have to spend money on stupid things like this I get very upset with myself. 

Oh, well there is nothing I can do about the phone until tomorrow.  Getting caught in the rainstorm threw off my schedule so I can't make it back to the store where I bought the charger.  I will take care of that in the morning before I go to work.  The truth is I sleep so soundly now, that quite honestly someone could have a live band outside my car I probably wouldn't hear it.  I guess exhaustion will do that to you. 

The truth is we humans have an amazing capacity to adapt.  I suppose that is how we have lasted on the planet as long as we have.  When other species can't adapt they disappear.  That is what I have done, I have adapted to my current situation in order to survive it.  I don't like it much, but I have found a way to get through it so I can reach the other side. 

I hope all is well with you, and have a good night. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Another beautiful day.  I am trying to have a count my blessings day.  It is much better than being depressed.  I have to remind myself sometimes that I am much better off then many homeless.  I have a place to sleep that is out of the elements and is safe, relatively speaking.  I have never gone a full 24 hours without food.  I may not always like what I have to eat, but I am eating.  I make it to a ladies room when I need to most of the time (pantyliners are very necessary when you are homeless) and I am able to keep myself clean most of the time as well.  I have clean clothes to put on and a job.  While it doesn't pay that well, it keeps me going until I can get back on feet.

This morning a very nice man came over to speak to me.  He walks past me every morning on his way to get coffee.  I have been seeing him for about a month or so now, and today he said hello.  He also gave me $20.  That is enough for me to eat for the week.  Although I have money for food already.  My church gave me a gift card from the Safeway again.  So that is nice.  I put the money in the bank right away.  I do worry about being robbed.  Not something that I think about constantly, but it is a concern.  I always set my phone to 9-1-1 before I go to sleep just in case.  I am little more worried about now then before because now the car won't start.  The starter is gone.  At least I think it is the starter.  It can't be the battery because the alarm and the radio still work.  I do know that from the mileage on the car I should be getting my timing belt on the car replaced about now.  So it is one of those two things.  I didn't look up the cost of the timing belt, but the starter online is about $250.  I don't have any tools, so I can't do it myself (and I am clueless when it comes to fixing cars).  I figure with a 30% markup and an hour of labor it should be about $500 to repair.  I have decided that I am going to get the starter and the hose that is leaking fixed first, that will be another $200 or so.  It will at least make the car somewhat drivable for the time being.  Then I will go back and get the fan and the switch replaced once I save up more money.  I am hoping to be able to do that next week, but I think I will still be a little short.  So it looks like I will have to wait for two pay periods instead of one.  But hey, maybe someone will come into the store and buy (and not cancel) a house full of furniture and my paycheck will be a good size.  A girl can dream right? 

Since my car no longer runs, my routine has changed a bit.  I didn't eat breakfast this morning, so I am off to the Safeway to get some lunch. 

Have a good day and try to have a count your blessings day too!!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Another day has arrived.  I was able to get more laundry done.  I know it seems like I go through a lot of clothes, and I do.  But you have to remember that it is pretty warm sleeping in a car so I get much more sweaty than I did in the past.  So I change much more than many other people. 

Taking the bus has been somewhat interesting.  First they make these announcements in Spanish all the time but not in English.  For some reason I thought taking German was a good idea so I don't know Spanish.  Do they think that only Spanish speaking people take the bus?  I guess so. 

Another thing that I found very annoying, no downright scary was a sign I saw last week.  The NIH is looking for people who use cocaine.  They will pay you to come in.  They also will reimburse your travel expenses.  Isn't paying someone who does drugs a bad idea?  Do they people who are using cocaine want to help find the NIH find out what it does to there body or do they really just want to get money in order to do more?  The NIH wants to know what affect cocaine has on people.  A bad one.  Hows that?  They can give the money that they are wasting on this to me.  I solved it.  It hurts the individuals and it hurts their loved ones. 

Just some observations. 

I will try and write more later but I have some errands to do today and they may take a while on the bus. 

Have a good day.

Saturday, August 13, 2011


I have not been having luck with getting internet connections of late.  Such is the life of the people with no internet connection of their own.  I was able to get on for short periods of time, but then would get thrown off.  But it seems to be holding for now at least.

Not that all that much in my life has changed in the past few days.  But I get emails when I don't post asking if I am doing ok.  So I wanted to let you know, I am doing just fine and dandy as one can be under the circumstances I find myself in. 

I had a rather strange exchange with a customer at work earlier this week.  I was getting her address information for her order and I need both a billing and shipping address.  Usually they are the same, but sometimes they are not.  This woman is buying a new house and I guess the closing on her old one was sooner or something like that.  It seems she was living with friends or something and made this joke about oh, you can just deliver to the bridge I am living under.  Ha ha, very funny.  Of course she has no way of knowing that I am homeless. 

The thing is that people just assume that the homeless are all bums and addicts who don't have jobs.  That simply isn't the case.  I am not the only living in my current situation.  Another commenter on this blog is also in the same situation that I am in.  There is at least one other homeless and working blog out there as well.  So people may want to think about not making that joke to a stranger that is working in a lower wage job, because they may be just like me. 

I am feeling better than the last time I posted.  I get a little depressed at moments, but luckily I am able to get over it quickly.  I really don't like self pity.  I believe that self pity is why my brother is still an addict.   He is always making excuses about how hard his life is.  Get over it.  If you someone told it was going to be fair or easy they lied. 

I was thinking about going to a movie tonight, but it is quite cool this evening.  I would rather spend the money on a night that be harder to sleep.  Tonight is sleeping weather.  I needed a blanket the other night.  That felt so good, to wrap up in a blanket.  I have not needed to do that in months. 

I also have looked at my finances and I think I am on solid ground with my goal of being back into a roommate situation before Thanksgiving.  My car being in disrepair has hurt me a bit, but I think I will recover from that.  I hope anyway.  I think I may have some good news on that front soon.  I will keep you posted. 

I did break open the wallet this week and buy myself another pair of shoes.  I found a pair on super clearance for $18.  I have these sneakers and I just can't wear them anymore.  I have washed them twice, but they still are stinky and dirty.  They are just so gross that I had to throw them out.  I still need to get a good pair of shoes for the professional environment, but that can wait until I really need them.  I have an odd sized foot so trying to get shoes on clearance is really difficult for me.  For sandals and boots I normally have to pay full price.  It isn't all that much different for a pair of decent work shoes too.  But like I said they can wait.  I was so grateful to find something on clearance in my size.  That is rare.  Most stores only get one or two in my size per store.  The speciality stores that carry a bigger selection in my size are very expensive. 

So I read that Michele Bachmann won the straw poll today.  Good for her.  She will not be president, but it is nice to see a strong conservative woman do well.  I saw her speak at a tea party event I went to some months back.  The crowd seemed to love her. 

I hope you all have a good night, and sometimes my not posting has to do with getting an internet connection.  I sometimes have no luck. 

Thursday, August 11, 2011


I am going through a my life sucks stage at the moment.  I guess that is understandable under the circumstances, but I really hate self pity.  It really is a useless emotional response.  It gets you nowhere.  No, that is not true, it makes things worse for you.  So why I allow myself to indulge in it makes me mad. 

I am not able to get my car fixed because I don't have the money.  I am having no luck in find another job.  I keep filling out applications, but hear nothing back.  August is a dead month in this area, so it is not surprising, but still very discouraging.  My bank just changed and I am having problems with the routing number.  I am not sure I am going to get my paycheck on time tomorrow to top everything else off.  It seems that the routing number has changed.  But I won't be able to check for sure until I get to work tomorrow.  I can only do laundry in small loads because I am schlepping everything on the bus.  It SUCKS!!! 

So I am feeling sorry for myself at the moment.  I just need to shake it off and get on with it.  I was hoping to watch the debate tonight, but I don't think I will be able to find anyone who will be televising it.  Not many Fox News fans in this area.  Highly democratic area.  Free internet is great but it really isn't all that great for live streaming, so even if Fox does it, I won't be able to watch it in a way that it will make any sense.  It will keep cutting out on and off.  I can't be bothered to even try and watch videos anymore because it will take me 15 minutes to watch a two minute video.  It SUCKS!!!

I am trying to stay more informed politically than I have in the past, so I read things.  But only watching a debate can you tell how someone did.  No writer in the world can do it justice.  Body language and facial expressions make a huge difference and that it is hard to convey in an article. 

Oh, well.  There is nothing that I can do about it at the moment.  I have to trek back to the laundromat today, so I need to get going.

Have a good day!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


So I see President Obama said yesterday that creating jobs was easy.  So easy that he failed to do it in two plus years.  Those shovel ready jobs that he joked were not quite as shovel ready as he thought. 

I am so glad that he thinks it is a joke.  He lives in the White House for free and I live in a car and hope that I have enough money to buy food towards the end of every month.  So funny.  So amusing. 

I don't blame presidents for the economic downturns.  They happen on regular basis.  That is just the way a free market works.  What I do tend to blame them for is how they interfere with them and how they talk about them.  The first President Bush can tell you that acting like people are not hurting is not a good strategy.  I don't remember that all that well, but I have heard other people who do talk about it.  People said he seemed out of touch to the struggles of everyday Americans. 

What is going on now is much worse because it has lasted so long.  We are getting close to four years now.  There are people who have lost two or three jobs during this time.  There are people who are working three or four part time jobs.  There are people who have had to move in with family.  And then there are people like me who are homeless because they don't have family that can help them.  We are going to have a "lost decade" as has been described as what happened in Japan. 

Not everyone is going to be able to survive a lost decade.  I know that I am lucky compared to many other homeless, but that doesn't make my situation any easier to deal with.  It doesn't make my back hurt any less from sleeping in a car.  It doesn't make cold soup taste any better.  It doesn't make the endless hours that you are trying to fill go by any faster.  Everyone looks at life from their own perspective.  There are always going to be people who are worse off than you, but that doesn't mean that you don't spend time thinking about the people who are better off than you.  It is human nature to think about yourself and the things you are dealing with.  At least from time to time.  You can hope that you can gather yourself and realize it could be worse.  But the moments will come that you are feeling trapped and unhappy with where you are in life. 

I see other homeless people all the time.  I am not sure if I am noticing them more now then before or not.  But it scares me.  The other day I had some guy asking me for money to get home on the bus.  He had been drinking and it wasn't even 11 am.  I see this woman every so often who seems to have a cleaning fetish.  She goes around cleaning businesses.  I am not sure if they pay her or not.  One night when I saw her it had to be 80 degrees and she had on her winter coat.  There is another man who I see every so often who must be schizophrenic.  He carries on full conversations with himself while he is looking at you.  I don't know if he is homeless or not, but he seems to have the same clothes on all the time, so I would think he is. 

How close am I to becoming them?  These people seem to live on the streets as a way of life and it doesn't look like much will change for them. 

Saturday, August 6, 2011


Another jobs report was released.  It is supposed to be really good news.  170K jobs this month.  It is kind of amusing when the unemployment claim number was 400K.  I don't see how that is good news.  Especially when people like me don't fall into the unemployment number. 

The credit rating for the country has been downgraded.  Thanks to an incompetent federal government.  There are very few people in Washington that seem to understand what is going on in the country.  Maybe some of them should read my blog about the day to day life of someone struggling to survive.  Really and truly survive.  My battle to keep a roof over my head is already lost.  How much more do I have to lose before they realize that they need to get serious about doing the things that are necessary to get our country back on the right track? 

I have been reading many different accounts of what happened to today.  Most of the right leaning outlets are blaming Obama.  Most of the left leaning are blaming the tea party and Bush.  Well that is very helpful isn't it?  At this point does it matter whose fault it is?  Can't we just fix the problem?  The powers that be have decided that Congress did not do enough to deal with the debt long term.  That is really the bottom line.  Fix the spending and debt issues.  Worry about whose fault it is later. 

I wonder if the people in DC even realize that people like me exist?  People who have jobs but are homeless.  It seems like I am not the only one blogging about this experience.  At least two others are as well.  Maybe I should send my link to every member of congress and see what type of response I get.  Not that I think they personally read email from the masses, but I suppose someone in the office is forced to read them all. 

I saw a poll today too that said that 80% think the country is going in the wrong direction.  Gee, you think?  I am sure businesses like McDonalds and Walmart are going to do very well moving forward over the next few months. 

I don't think I will be making much at my job.  People are going to be too nervous to spend money.  It looks like a double dip recession is going to happen.  I am mean it really already is, but just not on paper in the technical terms. 

But, the good news is that Oprah still thinks Obama is the man.  I read that today too. 

Sorry, I read as many free newspapers that I can get my hands on.  Since I can't really afford to buy them I pick up stuff on my rounds during the day.  I did see the title to one article in the Washington Post today that says:

If Sharp Losses continue, effort to dig out of debt may be impaired.  Boy what wonderful insight that Micheal Fletcher has.  I didn't read the article, but the headline sure made me laugh. 

I can't sleep tonight.  The weather is fine for sleeping, but I guess all this financial stuff has me a little upset and worried. 

The company that told me that they would bring me back for a second interview called today while I was working.   They have decided to put off hiring for right now.  They will let me know when they are ready to reschedule the interviews.  Who knows if that is true, but either way, I am not getting the job.  I thought interview went very well too.  I think that is why I can't sleep. 

Have a good day. 

Thursday, August 4, 2011


I had the test done on my car and the news isn't horrible, but isn't great either.  It is a middle of the road repair.  The total cost should range somewhere between $600-$800.  It could have been worse.  So I guess I can be grateful for that.

When I went into work I found out the couple that came and bought three rooms of furniture came back about an hour after I left and cancelled the order.  I guess they found something else at another store.  Or panicked at the money they were spending.  Until it delivers you can never be sure.  So I guess my next pay check will still be something to laugh at.  I understand their point of view, but I sometimes I wonder if people understand what it is like to sell in a commission environment.  If you go in and use up a great deal of their time and not buy anything you are taking money out of their pockets.  This couple was there for three hours on a very steady day.  I am the only one that had a bad sales day.  Everyone else sold very well.  Oh, well that is the life of commission sales.   You win some and you lose some. 

I am still feeling hopeful about the future though.  Things are starting to turn around slowly.  I don't feel as desperate as I did a few months back.  I figure I got through the worst of the summer heat, most nights have a breeze now and I am sleeping better.  I have some cushion with money.  I am doing ok with food.  So given a little more time I will be back on my feet. 

I got a call today about a job interview.  I missed the call, but called back as I got the message and am waiting to hear back from them.  It isn't my dream job, but it will do.  Being picky isn't really much of an option for me at this point in time.  August is not really much of a happening month in this area, but I am hoping I will be the exception to that rule and find something. 

One way or another life will get better, I just have to keep telling myself that and not get stuck in the rut of depression I felt for the first few months I was homeless.  I talked to Aunt Bessie today and that always makes me feel better.  My dear sweet Aunt.  One of the nicest people ever to walk the earth.  She wasn't feeling well for a week or so, but luckily it is only a cold.  At her age you can never be to careful, so I insisted she go to the doctor and she was right, it was nothing to be concerned about.  I am hoping I can get the money together to go and see her for a few days.  One can dream anyway.  It has been a while since I have seen her.  But we talk every other day.  That will have to be enough for now.  As soon as I am settled and have some money saved up I am going to send her a train ticket.  She has only been to see me once here and I keep making excuses on why she can't come again.  I can't exactly have her sleeping in my car. 

There is really nice breeze tonight, so I am hoping for a good night of sleep.  Last night wasn't all that great.  It was raining and somewhat cool, but it rained hard enough that I had to keep the windows closed, so it made it warm in the car.  But I slept much later than I normally do, the cloud cover this morning was the saving grace.  I didn't have the morning sun beating down on my face and getting me all sweaty that wakes me up most mornings by 7.  I didn't wake up until almost 9 this morning.  That felt good.  Tonight will be an open window night so I should be good.  As long as it gets a breeze going at night, I can get myself to sleep.  It is when it is dead humid air that it becomes impossible to sleep.  It is just to hot.  Oh, you fall asleep eventually just because you can't keep you eyes open anymore, but it isn't a good sound sleep. 

My next adventure is going to be getting my laundry done.  Money isn't the issue this time, it is not having a car to drive there.  Getting the dirty clothes there will be easy, it is getting the clean folded ones back that will be difficult on the bus.  I don't have a suitcase with me.  I put that in my storage so I don't know how I will get them back to my car.  Until my car is fixed I can't drive there, it is too far with the current state of disrepair.  It is illegal in this state not to have some sort of laundry facility for renters.  So coin laundromats are not that easy to find.  I only know of one in this area and I found it by mistake about two years ago when I got lost one night.  The other I found on the Internet is even further away.  So, I guess I will have to do small loads at a time and just bring them back and forth on the bus.  I have enough clean clothes for work this week, so that is all that matters really.

Have a good night

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


I had some good news yesterday.  I was able to work an extra shift yesterday, someone has a family emergency and is unable to work for a week.  Not that it is a good thing for them, but it will help me.  Especially since someone came and bought 3 rooms of furniture yesterday.  They just bought a bigger home.  So that was very nice for me.  Sales have picked up a bit over the past two weeks.  I am not sure if it is the big sale they had or maybe it is starting to take a turn for the better.  That remains to be seen.  But at least my paycheck will be not be something to laugh at only. 

I want to thank the people who have helped me out recently. I want to tell you, this is the first time in such a long time that I am hopeful.  The light at the end of the tunnel is still aways away, but at least I can see it now. 

Apparently I have corporate sponsors now.  So click and get some gold and silver prices.  I don't know how they found me, but I am thankful that they did. 

I didn't have time to get my car checked out yesterday since I had to go to work.  I am also wondering if I should spend the money now before I have enough to get it fixed.  Sometimes I think at least I will know what it costs and other times I think why give them that money when I may need it for some other emergency that comes up.  I have almost no cushion.  I need to think about it some more I guess.  Or maybe some of you can give some input.  The test is $100.  I already know that the fan doesn't work.  I already know which hose is leaking.  I shouldn't have an issue with the housing (I think that is the right term) because I had to have that fixed a year ago. The radiator itself is also not leaking as far as I can tell.  I have to think on this.  I can't get it done until Thursday due to my schedule, so I have time to think about it. 

Also, I met a boy over the weekend.  Well, I actually met him a few weeks ago, but we got to talking.  This is a very strange situation.  I can't exactly hide the fact that I am homeless for long and I would think that would make him run in the other direction as quickly as he can.  So what is the point?  But he seems nice and he is cute too.  Who knows maybe I am reading too much into it and he was just trying to be friendly.  God knows I have been really lonely.  I have only been out with a few guys since Dickie and I broke up.  I did see someone about four or five times but it fizzled out after that.  Once money got really tight for me, I closed myself off to dating thinking it would be pointless.  So, it would be nice just to go out on date and have adult conversation for a change.  I am amazed at how little I hear my own voice now.  My world is so small I don't really talk to many people anymore. 

Have a good day.