Sunday, July 31, 2011

Sunday

Since I spend all of my time out in public I overhear conversations constantly.  I don't mean to listen, but it really can't be helped.  I am beginning to think that we are just so stupid to re-elect Obama.  One night there was a tv commercial on about the debt and the economy done by an obviously right leaning organization.  The guy said very loudly that they can blame Bush for the economy. 

Now, when I lost my job Bush was president.  I was among many others who were losing their jobs at the time.  Hundreds of thousands were losing their jobs every month at that time.  To be honest I wasn't overly concerned at the time.  Looking back at that now I realize it was a mistake.  But I had enough money to live on for at least a year if I was careful.  I collected unemployment for three weeks before finding the job selling furniture.  To me that was going to pay my utilities and car note.  I would use my savings to pay my mortgage.  I figured I would be ok.   Obviously it didn't work out that way.  I know now that I should have rented my apartment much sooner than I did.  But shoulda, woulda, coulda.  I can't change it now. 

As I have said before I didn't pay very close attention to politics until it was time to vote for president.  I didn't even really pay attention to until well after the selections for who was going to run was done.  I guess I would start reading up on them in mid October or so.  The last election I didn't really need to do that.  The primary process between Clinton and Obama was so protracted and nasty that I did pay attention to it.  Mind you I still didn't go vote in the primary, but I paid attention more than I had before.  I knew by the time that Obama got the nomination that he would be president and it would not be a good thing.  McCain never really had much of chance.  The media helped with the argument that he was just going to be Bush #3.  People were mad at Bush for the wars and blamed him for the souring economy.  People were scared watching their investments for retirement becoming worth less and less.  I know I was very worried about Aunt Bessie.  She came from the generation where people didn't stick money into a 401(k) from a young age like people do now.  Or at least have the ability to.  So her meager savings and investments have to last.  She doesn't get much from Social Security.  Luckily she came from a generation that people had pensions from their employment.  But still, it isn't easy for her; she has to spend carefully.  Aunt Bessie voted for Obama.  She was scared and I can't blame her for that. 

I don't know why people would be any less scared now.  Matter of fact, shouldn't they be more scared?  The economy isn't getting better except on paper.  According to economic models were out of the recession in June of 09 or somewhere around there.  Do you think we are out of recession?  Does anyone really believe that people's lives are improving?  I am sure that some are.  I am sure that some feel that have economic security; at least for now.  I used to think that way too.  I even thought that when I first lost my job.  I will even go as far to say that I didn't realize how unstable my position was until about last summer.  By that point I was already renting a room and had just sold my car to get rid of my high car payment.  I bought a used one that I thought would last me at least 2 years. 

But then the realization that I was really in trouble hit.  Virtually all of my savings was gone at that point.  My job had recently cut my commission levels and people were just not buying as much anymore.  I went from making about $1500 per month to making $700.  My rent was $600.  I had just used the last of savings to pay off my car note so even if I could find a cheaper rent, I didn't have the money for the deposit.  Then a few months later they cut my hours.  I knew all as over for me then.  I knew that unless I found a better paying job I would be on the streets.  I was lucky that I was able to stave it off until the weather became more mild.  I didn't want to be in my car when it was in the 20's. 

So to me I don't understand how people are still blaming Bush for this.  Yeah, he was in office when this crisis started for me, but he was well out of office when it really became a crisis.  Bush didn't spend all that money on a stimulus that wasn't really needed.  If the recession technically ended in 6/09 the stimulus didn't do that.  It would have been recovered on it's own.  All the stimulus did was get us closer to the time that we had to raise the debt ceiling.  The nastiness that is happening now with all the talk in Washington is causing more problems for the economy.  The markets are reacting to the unknown, they don't like the unknown.  When the markets react, the average small business owner suffers.  The line of credit is harder to extend and then the layoffs usually follow shortly thereafter. 

I saw this lady on a really main road the other day with a sign that said lost my job and desperate, please help.  She looked like she was middle aged and dressed in neat and clean clothing.  I wanted to stop and talk to her.  Not that I can much to help her in my current position, but I really thing I could give her some advice on what I did to cut my costs.  Also some of the mistakes that I made.  Like I said, I should have rented my apartment sooner.  My mortgage was by far my biggest expense.  If I had been able to save on that I may not be in the position I am in now. 

With my car being in disrepair and in danger of overheating, I was not able to stop.  But she can't be the only one.  There are millions of others who are just like this lady.  Who are afraid of becoming me.  She may have kids at home, which make her feel even more desperate I am sure.  I only have to worry about myself.  I can survive on eating bread for a few days.  I don't like it, but I can (and have) do it.  But imagine only having bread to give your kids for days.  The guilt and the shame you would feel. 

The bottom line is that maybe McCain wouldn't have done a better job.  Maybe we would still be here had he gotten elected instead.  But it seems pretty obvious that Obama isn't up to the task.  While I don't believe that a president alone can make the economy better, he (or she) has the power to make it worse.  Obama has made it worse with all interference and additional regulations that are spooking small business owners into not wanting to invest.  Without investment from the private sector, the economy will not grow. 

I actually overhead some woman say last night that things in this country started to take a turn for the worse when Reagan was in office because of the deregulation that he did.  Huh?  Poverty levels decreased under Reagan overall.  Poverty levels also decreased under Clinton when he was pushed into changing up the welfare system.  People were forced to go out and support themselves and once they did find jobs, their lives improved. 

I read recently that the new CAFE standards for cars that Obama is putting into place is going to cause more car deaths, because the car companies will be forced to make the cars lighter.  Lighter cars will kill more people and cause more expensive repairs when you are in an accident.  How exactly does this new regulation help people?  It must be that stupid belief that we are saving the earth this way.  The difference in emissions is so meaningless that it is all just for show.  If global warming is real, it won't help.  So why do it? 

We just may be that stupid that we re-elect this man.  Very scary for that lady I saw with the sign the other day.  She may be writing the next homeless blog you see. 

Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday

Sorry I have not been around for a while.  Time has kind of escaped me this week. 

It hasn't been a good week for me. 

The bookstore that I hang out in a great deal is going out of business.  They have some great deal on books, but since I can't afford them it is meaningless to me.  But this may mean that I won't have any place to go that is air conditioned past 9.  Which will really stink. 

The other day I bought some groceries with virtually the last of my food money for the month.  The things that needed to be refrigerated I brought to work.  Today when I went to have my lunch I realized that the majority of the food had been stolen.  They left the pita bread that I brought to go with the hummus and spinach dips that I got on sale.  So all I have left until Monday is bread.   They also took my fruit and my yogurt.  This was very upsetting to me.  Somehow I doubt that they are homeless.  I don't get taking food that doesn't belong to you.  If they are that hungry they should ask.  This is the first time that I was able to buy melon in quite a while.  It is pretty expensive and since I don't have the ability to keep things I don't buy it.  I was really looking forward to eating that today.  It really made me mad because they went through the bag and took what they liked and left the rest.  Picky thieves, but thieves all the same.  I actually have another word for them.  But, I will leave that alone for the moment. 

This just added insult to injury with these groceries.  By sheer stupidity I shoved my car key into the bag on my way to the bus stop that morning and I didn't take it out and put it my backpack.  I left the key there and didn't realize it until it was too late.  I had to spend the night walking around because I couldn't get into my car.  I realize how lucky I am to have the car even more than I did before.  It may be a little easier to sleep on really hot nights outside, but I didn't like that at all. 

I have not gotten the test taken for my car yet.  I was going to do that on Thursday but that got thrown into chaos because of being up all night when I couldn't get into my car.  I have scouted out three locations that I can take it to.  I am going to get the test done at the cheapest place and then see where the best price is from the three.  I can only drive the car so far, so I can't be all that picky.  I am also hoping that I can be allowed to buy the parts myself.  Not all places will allow you to do that.  I do know that the fan is not working, but I don't know if that is because of the switch or because of it really needs to replaced.  The fan was less expensive than I thought.  It isn't all that much more than the hose.  I find that strange, but that is what I saw on Advanced Auto parts when I looked it up. 

Have a good night. 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Monday

The heat wave has been broken.  At least for tonight.  I will get some much needed sleep.  I can't believe how tired I am.  I napped some today, but I kept getting woken up. 

I am so grateful that I will be able to sleep tonight.  It is still quite warm, but nothing compared to what it has been since Friday. 

I think I am going to go sleep now as matter of fact. 

Have a good night all.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sunday

My least favorite day of the week.  I did catch a bit of a break tonight.  I was allowed to hang out somewhere for well past how long I thought they would let me stay.  So that was nice.  A much welcomed extra 90 minutes of air conditioning. 

The heat has been pretty brutal.  But I have figured out a few ways to make it a little more bearable.  I have some small face clothes with me.  I get them wet and then wrap it around a bag of ice.  I put the around my neck so that helps.  I can at least fall asleep for a while. 

Since I have not been in this situation in the winter I can't say which is worse full summer heat or full winter cold.  I would think they both equally as dangerous.  I can't imagine I will still be in this situation when the winter comes.  But, I will tell you I would welcome an end to this heat wave. 

I realized today that I had my soap with me, I thought I had put it in my storage unit.  So that was another piece of good news.  I don't have spend money on it, and I can get my hands back into shape.  They feel like I have little needles sticking in them.  I also have all this peeling skin.  I never realized my skin was this sensitive.  I have never had these issues in the past. 

I treated myself to a movie last night.  I found a coupon online and only had to pay half price.  I went to see Friends with Benefits.  I fully expected it not to hold my attention and I would take a nap.  It was a funny movie.  A lie of a story line that sex and emotion are mutually exclusive of one another.  They are not.  But it was funny all the same.  One of things that I liked about it was how they mocked romantic comedies in the movie.  Justin Timberlake is a good actor. 

They seem to play movies in this theatre almost all night.  So I hung around in there until late.  I went into where Bad Teachers was playing.  I don't feel bad because I did fall asleep so I didn't watch a movie I didn't pay for.  I also think they expect people to do that and that is why they charge so much.  A box of Thin Mints was $5.  Who would pay that?  You can go to the Safeway and get them for $1 sometimes.  I didn't have any candy with me, but I did bring in my own drink.  They must have a huge profit margin. 

I should look that up sometime.  If I ever get rich I am going to invest in multiplexes. 

In any event, it was nice to feel like a normal human being for a night.  I just a girl out to the movies.  Granted I was alone, but I have been to movies on my own before.  I also got some sleep in a dark cold room for a while too.  Bliss.

Have a good night

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Saturday

The heat was a little overwhelming last night, but I survived.  It should be cooling off after today.  We may even get some storms today.  For me a wonderful thing.  I am hoping that they do come in. 

Here is another thing that you would never think about before being in this position; hand soap.  You are using public restrooms all the time so you are stuck using the soap that is provided.  Most places have hand sanitizer now.  But some people can't use too much of that because of the alcohol in it.  Well in some cases the soap isn't all that much better.  My hands look scary.  They are all red and they hurt.  I am not sure if it is the hand sanitizer or the soap that is causing it. 

Some places use really cheap soap, and for anyone that has sensitive skin it will cause irritation over time.  This is a relatively new problem.  It just starting happening about two or three weeks ago.  But it is starting to get worse.  I have some soap in my storage, but due to my car issues it is too far away for me to get to.  I will have to go and buy a small thing of hand soap.  It will be well worth it.  A strange think to be walking around with in your bag, but oh well.  It can't be helped. 

I am off to work.  Here is to hoping for some great sales today.

Have a good day. 

Friday, July 22, 2011

Friday

I just can't catch a break these days.  My car is in disrepair now to top off everything else.  I was thinking yesterday it would be a relatively minor repair, but it won't be.  The temperature gauge or whatever it is called is no longer working.  Either that or fan itself isn't working.  But either way it doesn't come on anymore.  The engine gets so hot that it has damaged some of the hoses.  I thought I could just replace the hose.  Which I suppose I could do for a stop gap measure.  But now that I went online to see how much that hose is it makes no sense.  The hose itself is almost $150, and that my cost before the repair mark up.  Most repair places won't let you buy the parts yourself.  The repair is probably going to be around $1,000.  Money that I in no way have.  I can't imagine I will have that much money for months, as my pay just covers my monthly expenses and if I am lucky allows me to save a small amount.  Although I will be saving money on gas. 

The car isn't drivable for more than a few miles.  But the good news is that it will still work as a closet and bedroom.  I can get to work easily on the bus.  So that won't be a problem either.  It will be getting to the gym for showering that is going to be difficult.  But, if you remember I posted recently that I found a stall that has its own sink.  If I time it right, I can wash my hair in there with very people realizing what I am doing.  I realize it shouldn't be my first concern, but I try and limit my embarrassment level as much as I can.  Sponge bathing yourself is pretty easy to do and can be done almost anywhere. 

Yesterday was my last day at the camp.  I had fun.  I am glad that I was given the chance to do that.  It didn't pay all that much, but it was something.  Every little bit helps.  My storage bill for the month of August is now paid, my phone is paid until mid month, my car insurance is paid until October.  I don't have much left over, but enough to keep me in food and put a small amount into savings.  Which I guess is just going to get my car fixed at some point. 

The heat is brutal.  But there is nothing that I can do about that. 

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Thursday

I just read that President Obama's campaign is trying to get people to have house party's to celebrate his 50th birthday.  Hey anyone up to coming over to my car?  I can seat five. 

I can only afford the the $25 party pack.  Sorry no t-shirts

But it does include a party hat and buttons.  So let me know if you want to party in my car so we can re-elect the man who is doing absolutely nothing to fix the economy in any meaningful way.  If he gets re-elected I might just have to get a sleeping bag because I won't be able to afford my car anymore either. 
BYOB I can't drink and drive.

Thanks to Jill. 

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Wednesday

I have a dilemma.  I normally don't pay attention to weather reports.  It really does me no good since I am outside the majority of the time anyway.  But today I saw in paper that it is going to be at least 105 on Friday and the heat index should reach more than 115.  This is a high humidity area, so it will be brutal.  My dilemma is do I rent a motel room for the night?  I can't imagine I will get much if any sleep with type of heat.  But if I rent a motel room I using money that really needs to saved.  I can get a motel room for $66.  Not an excessive amount of money, but still a great deal to me. 

I was thinking that maybe I should just wait and see how it goes, but that really isn't a good solution.  If I am going to spend that much money I should get the room for as long as possible.  Check in right from work and stay until check out at 11 the next morning.  I don't want to go there in the middle of night.  That is a complete waste of money as far as I am concerned.  I don't get paid again until next Friday.  But I can move money from my pay pal account to cover the cost. 

I did this once before because I was really sick.  I was running a fever, had chills and body aches.  I needed a real bed for a few hours.  I tried one night in my car and I just got worse.  So I did spend one night in the motel and did feel much better the next day.  Especially after taking a nice long shower in the morning.  But, I barely had money for food until I got paid again.  That was even on pay day.  But, I have gotten much better at using less gas so my money is going further.  I also have more food supplies now then I did then. 

I honestly don't know what I should do.  I am going to move the money into my checking account just in case I really do need it.  But I really would rather not spend it.  I can stay in the bookstore until 11.  I can go to a McDonald's after that for a few hours.  That would mean I would really only have to deal with the excessive heat for about six or seven hours. 

I must save every dime I possibly can so I can find a permanent solution, not just a temporary stop gap about the heat.  I certainly don't want to still be in this situation once the temperatures are below freezing or snowing out. 

I guess I need to think about what the best course of action is. 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Tuesday

Conservatives will be really irritated to read this:

 Data from the Department of Energy and other agencies show that the average poor family, as defined by Census officials: ● Lives in a home that is in good repair, not crowded, and equipped with air conditioning, clothes washer and dryer, and cable or satellite TV service. ● Prepares meals in a kitchen with a refrigerator, coffee maker and microwave as well as oven and stove. ● Enjoys two color TVs, a DVD player, VCR and — if children are there — an Xbox, PlayStation, or other video game system. ● Had enough money in the past year to meet essential needs, including adequate food and medical care.

Just imagine how I feel.  I wish I was this "poor".  I don't even need all of those things.  I can live without the DVD player, the Xbox, I don't need two T.V.'s.  Heck I have been living without it for months now.  I don't need a coffeemaker either. 

You can read the article here.   

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Sunday

Another Sunday.  The worst day of the week for me.  But, I will get through today like I have gotten through the others.  This is just life and I have to deal with it. 

I want to make something clear.  I wrote a post the other day about one of my brunch friends.  I think I have made it sound like she is some selfish person.  She really isn't.  Her soon to be husband is now an attorney.  They met in college and she helped support him through law school.  She worked while he went to school and he just got job less than a year ago I think.  Apparently the recession is hitting the law industry as well.  He graduated pretty high up in his class and was expecting many job offers upon graduation, but they didn't come in the way that they had hoped.  It actually took him a while to find a job. 

I am thinking the ring is kind of a payback for the sacifrices that they both made while they were struggling with school and money.  And I am sure still struggling with student loans.  Law school can't be cheap.  So maybe the rubies are her reward for paying the way while he was studying.  I am glad that it did work out for her.  There was a part of me that always wondered if he would move on once he was out of school.  You hear about that type of thing all the time.  Or maybe not all the time, but sometimes.  Girl meets boy,  boy wants to finish school before marriage, girl works her fingers to the bones paying the bills, boy gets high paying job and realizes that there are greener pastures.  I am sure that it is an equal opportunity screwing over.  But not a nice way to behave. 

But, I do know that this has changed me.  I will never look at life in the same way I did before.  I am hoping that it will postive shift.  I don't think that I lacked compassion in the past, but I know that I am going to look at people in trouble in a different way.  I know that you can't help everyone.  I also know that not everyone wants to be helped.  Some people like their misery.  They live for it. 

I just hope that I am not starting to like my misery.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Saturday

Mr. Christopher sent me a donation and also sent me a little note.  I want to say reading your note made me very emotional.  I am blown away that you think that I can help teach your step-daughter some life lessons.  My dad used to try and use real life situations to teach me life lessons too.  So the fact that you are going to have her read my blog is really something. 

I would like to you know something else too.  You may think that she isn't listening or just doesn't get it, but if I am any indication; she is.  I don't know how old she is, but sometimes when your a kid you want to pretend that your parents don't know anything.  But the lessons do actually stick.  Even if you don't think so at the time. 

I still sometimes act like I am not listening to Aunt Bessie.  Which gets her mad at me, but we both know that I am listening.  I realized a long time ago what a smart lady she is and how very lucky I am to have her in my life. 

You also said that what you gave me is not much.  It is a great deal.  There have been days that I was short on getting something off the dollar menu at McDonald's.  So I am very grateful for your generosity. 

You want your step daughter to learn how lucky she is to have the things that she has; the lesson that I hope she takes out of this is the realization of how lucky she is to have a step-father who obviously cares for and loves her.  That is priceless.  All the expensive stuff in the world can't give you people who really care for you. 

What you really did for me was make me remember some great memories of my dad.  I miss my daddy.  But, I know that I was lucky to have him in life at all.  I know many people who didn't have good parents, or at least parents that tried to teach them about what really matters in life.  The time that you spend together, because it is so short.  My dad did that.  He lived everyday, especially after we lost mom.  He always told me to live everyday because you don't know what will happen next.  He was right.  I never expected to be where I am today. 

Thanks for making me smile.  They have not come easy for me lately.  I hope you that I can make an impression on your step daughter.  It will make this experience a little easier to take.  I am not going to say worth it, but at least some positives have come from it. 

Again, thank you - God Bless you and your family. 

Friday, July 15, 2011

Friday

No work again at the camp because of the kids going swimming.  So I will be off to try and sell some furniture soon.  It is sometimes hard for me to keep my days straight.  I never realized this about myself but apparently I used television as a way of keeping track of the days.  Since watching TV is not really much of an option for me, I sometimes get a little confused about what day it is. 

I am out of some supplies that I use on a regular basis.  Believe it or not one of your very best friends when you are homeless is baby powder.  First it will help you stay a little less sweaty on really hot days, but it really helps with your feet.  Apparently feet are a big issue with the homeless.  You don't really take your shoes off that much.  I am in a slightly different position since I sleep in a car and can take my shoes off, but I noticed the one night I spent in the homeless shelter that almost everyone slept with their shoes on.  Part of it is that you spend a lot of your time being pre-occupied that none of your things are stolen. 

You have so few belongings that they are so precious to you.  It is difficult to come up with money to replace anything, so if you lose your shoes somehow it becomes a really big deal.  I used to have many pairs of shoes.  Too many actually.  I guess it is a girl thing.  I now own five.  One of which I can't wear because they hurt my feet too much and another that is a pair of winter boots.  I put many of the shoes that I had in storage when I originally moved out of my apartment, and when I couldn't pay the bill they sold everything. 

Another thing that I found to very helpful is pair of socks that have the support in them.  They sell these socks that I guess people who have circulation problems use and they help absorb the sweat, give some extra padding and sometimes when it is really humid you will find that you getting swelling.  These help with all of those issues.  The problem is they are expensive.  Almost $15 per pair.  I don't have that kind of money to spend on socks.  So I bought one pair and wash them out as often as I can.  Between the socks and the baby powder, my feet are in good shape.  I still keep my toes polished.  It is one of the ways that I try to stay "normal".  It also helps pass some of the never ending time on my hands. 

Another very helpful tool when you are homeless is having some knowledge of nutrition.  You have to make choices about how you spend your food dollars.  So you have to weigh what is filling over what is vitamin rich.  In most cases you will go for the filling.  But I do try and still eat things that are healthy.  Once a month I buy some nuts to get protein.  I try to drink some milk everyday.  I don't always have the money to spend on it, but I try.  Once a month I treat myself to some orange juice. 

I try not to buy much fruit because it goes bad quickly.  I did buy some peanut butter a few weeks ago, but it got really nasty from the excessive heat in my trunk.  That is where I keep most of my food supplies.  I don't generally have that much.  Some cereal that Kim gave me and some things I have been able to pick up to my monthly trip to the food bank.  I believe I mentioned before they have not been very helpful to me since they generally only have things that require cooking.  Everyone once in a while I can get some canned fruit from them.  Which is a nice treat while they last. 

When you only about $5 per day to spend on food and you can't cook it becomes all about the choices that you make.  Sometimes I get some stuff from the deli section of the Safeway.  I got a 1/4lb of chicken salad for under $2 due to a sale.  I had some crackers left over from another meal so it almost filled me up.  There are many canned things that you can eat cold.  Even most soups can be eaten cold.  I will sometimes buy Campbell's vegetable soup and eat that.  Not great, but once you get past it being cold, it isn't that bad.  I don't have a can opener, so I can only buy cans that have pop tops.  So my choices are limited in that arena.  I have found a couple of grocery stores that have microwaves, my problem is that they are not nearby so it then becomes a gas issue.  That seems to be story of my life now.  How much gas I have. 

Have a good day.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thursday

Last night I got a message from one my "brunch" friends that I had mentioned earlier.  I like her.  She and I have always hit it off and had things in common, so I called her back during lunch.  One of the things we had common was that we were still with our college sweethearts.  Obviously that isn't the case with me anymore, but she got engaged last weekend.  She called to invite me to an engagement party.  I told her to text me the details.  I will have to make up some excuse as I will not have the money to buy a gift. 

She was telling me about the ring.  Apparently they are going out shopping tonight because the ring her got her really wasn't "suitable".  Suitable for what?  She told me it was a round diamond in a white gold setting.  I guess she doesn't like it, so they need to go find something else.  First, I didn't realize you could return engagement rings.  Second, if this is the ring he put on her finger when he proposed doesn't that make it something really special?  I would think so. 

She told me she wanted something with a little more bling.  So I asked how big the stone was and she told me it was slightly over a carat.  Seems to me that is some bling.  But I guess she wanted a setting that also contains some stones.  She told me something with a few rubies would be nice. 

I realized after this conversation that I am never going to be the same after this experience.  Not that I have ever been really impressed by jewelery or a lot of money, but I was so taken aback by what she was telling me that I had to make an excuse to get off the phone.  I was worried that I would say something that would insult her.  I wasn't bothered by the fact that she was telling me about a diamond ring while I am homeless, because she has no way of knowing that.  I was bothered by the fact that ring seemed to be more important than the marriage. 

I was with my college boyfriend for a long time.  I really did think that we would get married and live happily ever after.  But, it didn't work out that way.  I am not sorry that our relationship ended.  I have had enough time to get over it and realized it was for the best.  We were not right for another. 

I can't ever imagine a time in my life moving forward that I will say to someone who just asked me to spend our lives together that I want more bling.  Do marriages that start out that way work out? 

I don't think four years ago I would have thought twice about her wanting a bigger ring.  It wouldn't be my choice of how to handle that big question, but I realize now that through this experience I have really figured out what matters and what doesn't.  Bling doesn't matter. 

I want a place to live that is clean and safe and a job that pays a livable wage.  She wants rubies.  I don't think we have anything in common anymore.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Wednesday

Rain, glorious rain.  We had an afternoon thunderstorm.  I am sure most people were not as happy about it as I was.  It really cooled things off.  I can't imagine it will be nearly as hot tonight.  Which means I will get better sleep than I have been getting for the past few nights. 

I have another babysitting job.  Matter of fact I have money making things to do almost every night this week.  Which is wonderful, because I didn't plan well for my insurance payment and my account is overdrawn.  So I will be able to cover everything before they clear and I am charged the $35 fee.  That makes me very happy.  I hate having to give what little money  I have back to the bank.  That is just such a waste.  So I am trying to avoid that from now on.  I need to change my insurance bill to every month instead of every three months.  I forget about it.  Monthly will help me plan better. 

I am amazed at how much I am forgetting things of late.  I guess I have been pre-occupied.  Well, I have to get to the house where I am babysitting.  I am leaving early as I have never been to this area before and I don't want to be late.  If I make a bad impression they will never ask me again.  I can't afford to turn away any opportunity to make money. 

I want to say a special thank you to Matthew.  He has donated to me not just once, but twice.  I promise the money went to good use.  I kept all my car things legal with your help.  Your kindness will come back to you one day.  That is something that my mom taught me. 

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tuesday

Boy, it is hot outside today.  Sleep will not come easy at all tonight.  It is supposed to be this way all week.  I am hoping for a rain shower soon.  That will at least cool it off a bit.  There is a part me that wonders if some nights I will be better off sleeping outside instead of in the car. 

The car gets really hot but is safer.  I can sleep on these benches and it would be a great deal cooler, but also much less safe. Although, there is one office building that has round the clock guards.  Which would be safer, but then I am sure they would shoo me off.  I don't want to get in trouble with the police.  I have managed to stay off the radar of the police and I would like to keep it that way. Every so often I see a police officer go the restaurant where I sleep,  but not all that often.  Pretty rarely actually. 

I discovered a way for me to wash my hair in a pinch the other night.  I found a bathroom stall that has a sink in it.  Life's little pleasures.  So if for whatever reason I can't make it to the gym, I can wash my hair in a pinch.  Granted it will be a little weird, but hey what about being homeless isn't weird?  The one nice thing if it really hot one night, I can wash my hair to help cool myself off.  Granted it will have to air dry, but that is not the end of the world. I just won't look in a mirror again until I get to the gym where I can use a blow dryer. 

I am changing clothes a little too often so I am in need of doing laundry soon.  I am out of money until I get paid.  I had to pay my car insurance and phone bill today.  I completely forget about it so I was shocked when I realized that I had no money in my account.  Luckily I have that gift card from the grocery store to get some food.  I will use the water bottles that I have collected and stay hydrated that way. 

One of the biggest problems (besides sleeping) when it is this hot is that since you drink so much more you have to use the bathroom all the time.  Not always easy when you don't have one of your own. 

I have some babysitting to do tonight.  One of the parents I met from the church camp asked if I would babysit tonight, since I am not one to turn down a chance to make some money I must go. 

Have a good night.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Monday - Part 2

I would think that some of you are wondering why I don't ask family for help.  I wish that I could, but it isn't possible.  Both of my parents were dead before I finished high school.  My mom was gone when I was 7 and my dad followed 9 years later.  My dad was an only child and older when he met and married my mom.  His only family is an aunt of his.  I will call her Aunt Bessie.  I picked that because it sounds soothing.  She is soothing.  When my dad was killed she wanted to take us, but due to her age and health issues the state felt it was best that she didn't and they put us into foster care.  Bessie is the sweetest woman I know.  I love her dearly. 

I have a twin brother.  He is nothing but trouble.  It wasn't always that way, but he just couldn't cope after we lost our dad, they were very close.  He got involved with meth and has never looked back.  He is in and out of jail and rehab.  But somehow he just keeps going back to his addiction.  He cannot or will not get that monkey off his back.  Bessie blames herself.  She shouldn't.  He makes his own choices and  he never fails to make the wrong ones.  But, somehow he always lands on his feet to cheat and lie to Bessie another day.  Bless her heart, she can't say no to him.  But I learned that lesson quite a while ago.  If he would make a real effort to improve his life I would do anything to help him, but he hasn't hit bottom yet I guess.  So I don't speak to him. 

That is why Bessie has no idea of what is going on with me.  She knows that I lost my job and I am working in a furniture store.  But she has no idea how bad my finances are.  I don't have the heart to tell her, because I know she can't help me.  She lives in assisted living now and lives on her pension and social security.  She doesn't have any extra.  If I tell her she will just worry about me and I can't do that to her, she has been through enough over the years. 

My mom came from a good sized family.  My mom was born into a conservative Jewish family that is very old fashioned.  Her wanting to go to college became a big deal in her family.  Her parents didn't see the reason for a woman to get an education.  She was to marry a nice Jewish boy and raise nice Jewish children according to her parents.  Well, my mom had other ideas.  She went away to college and met my dad.  An older professor who wasn't Jewish.  When my mom told her family that she was going to marry my dad, they turned her back on her.  They never spoke to her again.  It wasn't so much that my dad was older it was more that he was a Christian and my mom was going to convert to Christianity and raise her children as Christians.  That was something that they couldn't get over. I have never met them.  They didn't come to mom's funeral and when they were contacted about my dad's death and the fact that we needed guardians for two years they said no. I have since read the file and they said that since we were strangers anyway it would be best to keep us in the same state so we didn't have so much radical change. A likely story as far as I am concerned.  I have no desire to meet them.  I do hold a grudge.  I don't remember my mom perfectly, but I remember enough to know that she loved her family very much.  She was a great mom while we had her.  She had a great laugh and an amazing smile.  I remember sitting in bed with her when she was sick and her making jokes. 

So that is my family as it is. 

As for friends, my really close friends all live back east.  None of which have much money.  Most are married now and some have kids.  They live paycheck to paycheck so I can't ask them as it would be too much of a burden on them.  There isn't much work there so going back wouldn't be the best of ideas.  I considered it, but realized I am more likely to find a job here.  I have (or had) some friends here.  But they were the kind of friends you met up with to have a cocktail or go to brunch or some other event.  We give each other a peck on the cheek, gossip for an hour or two and then go back to our own lives.  It suited me fine at the time.  I was always either working or hanging with my ex boyfriend so it worked for me then.  They are not the type of people I can call when I am trouble.  The reason I believe this is because when I started having a real problem with finances and couldn't make brunch anymore not one of them ever offered to pay for me or anything like that.  So things just faded away.  I ran into one of them a few months back and it was a strange experience.  She did ask if I found a full time job yet and when I said no, she just changed the subject.  There was no real interest in how I was doing.  So,  there is no way I feel comfortable in asking them for assistance.  To be honest, if you had put this scenario to me four years ago, I am not sure I would have done all that much to help either. 

On to my ex.  We will call him Dickie.  I met Dickie in college.  We both went to school in Boston.  We were at different schools and met at a party that I attended on his campus.  I wanted to stay in the Boston area.  I wanted to be close to Bessie.  But, he was offered a job here and we moved down here.  I found a job pretty quickly then.  I honestly didn't think it was that great of a job at the time, but I wanted to do well.  I had initially thought I would stay for two years and then look for something better.  Dickie was supposed to have the "dream" job.  He was going to rise to the top.  Well, it turns out to be exactly opposite of what happened.  I got promoted three times in four years and was making a very good salary.  Dickie was pretty much stuck in the same position.  After my second promotion, things between Dickie and I became very strained.  I am not saying that my success was the only reason that we broke up, but it was part of it.  He couldn't handle me doing better than he did.  Especially after I bought our apartment.  We rented it for the first year and then I bought it on my own.  I still had some of the money left over from my dad.  I didn't need his help to get the mortgage.  He started paying rent to me.  He moved out very shortly thereafter.  He and I still can't have a conversation that lasts more than five minutes that doesn't turn into an argument.  He is living with someone else now, so asking him for some aid is out of the question. 

So, that leaves me to my own devices.  While this may sound strange, I think that I have done a good job.  I am not in any danger of losing my apartment.  It is safely rented and it pays for itself.  I have been able to keep a good credit rating through this.  I am proud of that.  I was told that if I wait another six months or so I should be able to sell for at least what I owe and maybe make a small profit.  Right now, I am underwater and selling would be a mistake at this time.  But the housing market here is improving, slowly, but improving all the same.  I am hoping that I can put it on the market in January.  I was thinking of putting it on the market now and just not accepting any offers until it paid the mortgage off, but two realtors told me that it doesn't work that way, and it will be harder to sell when the market does improve.  Since I really don't know that much about realty I will take their word for it and wait until January.  I am hoping that I will have job by then so that it won't be necessary, but if not, that will be my option.

Monday

I have a few minutes before my part of the camp starts.  I have to be here by 8:45 but I don't really do anything until 10.  Not a very effective way of using your staff, but whatever.  I think they have laws about how many adults have to be present. Like I said the church has been very nice to me and lets me use their internet. 

I am feeling a little better from yesterday.  I got some decent sleep last night (as much as one can in my position) so I am not quite as tired as I was.  But this morning I got this very strange look from some guy when I was going to back to my car.  I went into the restaurant to get my milk and use the ladies room.  You know people, I am not some animal on display for your amusement.  I am a human being that would like to have some self respect and dignity too. 

Yes, I sleep in a car. Yes, that is my home. But, I have a job.  Granted a very poorly paying one, but a job all the same.  I keep myself clean.  I have been able to keep up with my bills now that I am trying to come up with rent money.  I am not yelling at the imaginery people in my head.  Nor do I bother anyone.  I don't hit people up for food or money normally in an aggressive fashion.  I only did it once because I had no gas in my car and I only asked for one dollar so I could get one gallon of gas so I could to work (I had three dollars).  The man gave me twenty, which was very nice of him, and it enabled me to get some gas and some food.  He was this Muslim man and he told me it was his responsiblity to help the less fortunate.  (he has given me money again when I saw him a few weeks later) But, my point being that I am not asking other people to pay my way because I am lazy.  I don't feel entitled to other people's money.  I appreciate the help that anyone is willing to give me, but I don't expect it.  This is my problem and at the end of the day I have to come up with the solution. 

I have noticed that a few other bloggers have taken notice (Thanks for that, by the way).  The traffic has increased (Kim showed me how to check).  If you get nothing else out of reading these posts, just remember the next time you pass a homeless person, they are human beings too.  Not all of us got here because of drugs or drinking.  Some of got here because of bad luck.  We are not zoo animals on display.  We have dignity too, at I least I try to anyway. 

Maybe I am still cranky today. 

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Sunday

I really hate Sunday.  Everything closes early, so that makes my day even longer.  I was trying not to write too much of the negative on here, but I realized that if this is going to be an honest accounting of my experience than I must include the negative. 

I used to really love Sunday's.  I would go to church, meet up with some friends for brunch, spend the afternoon at a museum then home to get some work done.  Those days I miss.  But like so much else in my life that is no longer the way my life works. 

I can't really sleep past 8 because the car gets so hot by then that I can't take it anymore.  I can't leave my windows open very much because my door handles are pretty high up in the car so it wouldn't take much for someone to reach in and open the door.  So even if it cools off at night I don't get to take advantage of it.  Since I normally can't fall asleep until about 2 or 3 it isn't much of a good nights rest.  So I am pretty much tired all the time. 

I had this illusion before this started that I would stay up all night and sleep during the days somewhere inside.  But that isn't the reality.  First and foremost I work three days per week so when would I sleep then?  Second, what do you all night in a car by yourself?  I also had this illusion that I would read five or six books per week.  I used to daydream about having time to sit and read.  Well, that gets old real quick.  Most of the bookstores don't have very comfortable chairs so after two hours or so I feel like I am going to lose my mind.  Nor can I afford to buy these books and take them to a more comfortable reading spot. 

I have read some.  I am reading several books at the moment.  Atlas Shrugs is one, someone gave it to me.  The language is very dense so I have found that I need to read it slowly.  I have picked up some other quick reads in the bookstore summer reading piles.  They are just time fillers.  I was hoping to read things about history so I could learn something, but I found that I have a hard time keeping my concentration on them.  So I have decided the quick reads are best for me right now. 

I also had this illusion that I would go to the movies to stay cool on hot and humid days.  Since I have been so broke for the past few years I hadn't realized how much money a movie costs.  Not something that I can fit into my budget.  Where I work has a movie theatre that charges almost $12 for one ticket.  That is days worth of food or a couple of days worth of gas.  Not something that I can indulge on. 

Today, I fell asleep in a chair in a mall.  I am very tired today because I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I was so hot.  When I woke up the people that were sitting next to me asked me why I was trying to turn this nice mall into junkyard.  I didn't know what to say, so I just walked away.  There is a part of me that just wanted to scream "I am homeless you idiot".  But, I didn't.  Since I work very close to this mall I don't want to cause problems.  I come here often and the last thing I need is to draw the attention of the security that they have here. 

So today has been a really down day.  I am still very tired and the bookstore I go to closes at 9 tonight.  So I have a long night ahead. 

I hope your day has been better than mine. 

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Saturday

I really have not been as politically active as I should be.  I went about my life and never really thought all much about until the presidential elections.  I never voted in off year elections before.  I didn't even know the names of my state representatives.  But I am learning. 

The other day some guy that works for Obama made a statement that people don't vote on the unemployment number.  This man is either blind or a liar.  Or, maybe both.  I can tell you that people do vote on the unemployment number.  I will be voting on it.  18,000 new jobs were created last month.  I have been looking for a full time job for a long time now.  I have applied for jobs that I am very over qualified for.  I have worked retail for the past three years even though I am halfway through getting my masters degree.  I made a choice to take that retail position instead of taking unemployment.  I wanted to stay in a groove of working as opposed to staying at home all the time.  I was a little afraid of getting lazy.  I wanted to keep my mind busy.  I think that is good for people. 

I have tried to do everything the right way, and yet I am still homeless.  I don't show up in the unemployment numbers because I have a job.  A job that gave me a paycheck a week ago that was a little over $100 per week.  Not something that anyone who has pay rent can live on. 

I spend all of my time in public places as I don't have a private place to go to.  People see me sleeping in my car.  People see me changing my clothes in public restrooms.  When I get desperate I will panhandle for money.  I am never aggressive, I stand with a sign and sometimes people will give me some money.  But generally, I don't get very much. 

I think I have figured out why too.  I am not dirty and I don't smell.  I am young and I am white.  I don't look like someone who belongs on the streets.  Not because of my color, but my wardrobe does still show signs of middle class America.  I admit it, when I made a good salary I bought nice clothes.  I didn't spend my money in a crazy fashion, so I would treat myself to clothes that I found to be fashionable and suited my professional job.  I have a lot of clothing from Ann Taylor and Bloomingdales.  They have the look of being of quality and somewhat expensive.  I don't have the money now to go buy other clothes, so these are what I continue to wear. 

I am the worst nightmare of people.  The suburban person who had a stable life and healthy bank account who is now on the streets.  The person who doesn't qualify for government help.  I am single without children.  No  help for me.  I am not complaining, I am just stating the facts.  I am on my own.  Which is fine with me.  Because ultimately I have to get myself out of this.  I am determined to do that.  I will find a way to get out of this as soon as possible. 

But, tell me how I am not supposed to be discouraged when only 18,000 jobs were created across the entire country?  Tell me how I am not supposed to feel like I will be on the streets for a long period of time.  Tell me who I am not supposed to think this may be life forever now? 

Does this stupid man not think that the people who notice my asleep in my car don't ask themselves if this could happen to them if they lost their job tomorrow?  It isn't just about the 9.1% of the unemployed (and we all know that number is higher) it is about the rest of the people who are terrified that they end up like me.  They may not start out with a five digit savings account like I did.  They many have almost nothing, or even worse have nothing in savings.  They may be living paycheck to paycheck unable to save anything.  A loss of a paycheck will send them reeling.  They may have family and friends to help them out, they may not.  But either way, these people are scared. 

I hear people all the time talking about the things that they can't afford to buy.  Granted it is trivial compared to what I can't afford to buy, but it is important to them all the same.  People can't afford to go on vacation.  When the vacation spots are not filled up the people who depend on the income become closer to being me.  When people don't go out to eat as often, the waitstaff become closer to being me.  When people don't go to the movie theatre, fewer people have a part time job opportunity to help them put something in the bank for a rainy day. 

If this president and his staff don't think that this number matters, then they certainly don't deserve to be re-elected.  Nor did they deserve to be elected in the first place. 

Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. 

Friday, July 8, 2011

Friday

I have not posted all week.  I have been busy working at the summer camp.  I am enjoying it more than I thought I would.  I also have a great deal more respect for all you moms out there.  It is very hard work running after a bunch of kids.  They seem like good kids.  None of them really give me a hard time.  They get into little arguments over stupid things, but outside of that they listen and behave well. 

I am so tired that I am conked out early.  They have been very nice to me at the church, so I am very pleased that I have had this opportunity.  I can't go to work tomorrow at the camp because they are going swimming and it has something to do with the insurance or something.  Yet another state regulation that makes it hard for people to employ and employees to find jobs.  But, I will just go to my other job and I hope I get a few good sales. 

I have been thinking about a some things lately.  I had said earlier that I couldn't really do things differently.  One thing that I could have done differently was to cultivate friendships better than I have.  I was such a workaholic that I have not really had time to make close friends since I lived down here.  I have made two friends since this whole thing has started.  Which I am grateful for.  I guess this is one of the lessons that God needed to teach me, you need to let other people into your life.  That is something that has been hard for me.  I guess I have some issues with losing both of my parents by the time I was 16.  This is something that I need to work on. 

They are night and day from each other in almost every way.  But they have a friendship that seems to work for them and I am finding that I somehow fit into it.  One is a conservative republican who can tell you pretty much everything that is going on in the political world, the other is a liberal democratic who doesn't really pay attention to the issues.  I get this feeling she shows up at the voting both and votes for the democrat without fully understanding where they stand on the issues.  She keeps telling me that the government will help me get out of this.  I keep trying to explain to her that every government agency I have spoken to has given me lousy advice and has given me no real help at all.  But she is true believer in the government system.  I think the only cure for her is to get involved in it and she will see for herself that it isn't what she thinks it is.  She is a nice lady, but just doesn't have a clue on the differences on what it supposed to do and what it actually does.  I hope for her sake she never has to find out.  The help I have gotten has been from kind hearted individuals.  Which she and husband have been to me as well.  She just doesn't see connection. 

Well, I have to try and get some sleep.  It is humid tonight so sleep will not be easy. 

But I did treat myself to a lemonade.  I had a coupon so it only cost me 60 cents.  That I can handle.  It will cool me off a bit. 

Have a good night. 

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Sunday

Well, my days in the hotel are over. I am very grateful to have the opportunity to feel like a real human being again, even if it was just a few days. 

I slept a great deal and that felt good.  I must have really needed to sleep for 12 hours straight two of the three nights.  I don't remember doing that unless I was sick since I was a little girl. 

We just had a big rainstorm that cooled it off a bit.  Which is a good thing because it was really hot and humid today.  I got myself all sweaty.  But luckily I have a full tank of gas so I could go to the gym and take a shower.  I keep my world very small so I don't use a great deal of gas unless I have to.  The gym is pretty far away from where I spend my time.  But, thanks to some very nice people who have left donations for me, I have been able to fill up my gas tank and pay all my bills this week.  I still have some leftover as well.  So I moved that into my savings account.  Well not a real savings account, but a second checking account.  I have to have a certain amount in my savings or they will take a monthly fee.  As meager as it is, I am glad that I have been able to add to it lately.  So thanks to the people who have opened their hearts to me. 

My church gave me a gift card to a grocery store today.  I figure if I spend $6 per day I can stretch it for the whole month.  That isn't really easy to do when you can't cook or have no refrigation, but at least I won't have to worry so much.  I have normally run out of money for food about three days before I get paid again.  The food banks are no help to me since the food they give you requires cooking.  But I have gotten some cereal from them and then I only need to get a small container of milk.  Sometimes I just eat the cereal dry.  It is not so bad.  I have grown very fond of cheerios.  I never really ate them before. 

One of the places that I go to for the free wifi has figured out that I am homeless and one of the ladies gave me a salad the other day.  She said it was a mistake.  I don't think it was.  So that was really nice of her.  It was really good too.  It had steak in it, that was quite a treat for me.  They don't seem to mind when I fill up my water bottles.  So I am thankful for that.  They don't have any openings, but the manager told me if something comes up he will give me the job.  They have gotten used to me I guess, I go there everyday.  I try and buy something there every payday so I don't feel so bad about using their resources, but it isn't always possible, as they are out of my price range.  Almost $10 for a salad.  I can eat for two or three days on ten dollars. 

I am looking forward to the holiday tomorrow.  The fourth is my favorite holiday.  I just love fireworks. 

I hope yours is safe.

Have a good night.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Saturday

I figure I will tell you some of the more humorous things that have happened to me.

I was asked out on a date by a guy who knew I was homeless.  I am thinking to myself why would I want to date someone who wants to be with a homeless girl?  I said no.  It was by far the strangest thing that has happened.

I have seen many men going to the bathroom outside.  I don't understand the obsession that men seem to have to peeing outside, but there it is. 

When I was cleaning up a yard the other day, I lost my balance and fell in the pool.  The problem is that now I am nervous that the chlorine will damage the clothes I had on.  But it was pretty embarrassing.  All the kids in the neighborhood saw me and laughed. 

I have had quite a few people coming up to me as I am trying to sleep in my car asking me for food.  I found it comical. 

Boy, people can't park.  That is another thing that I have noticed since this whole thing has begun. 

At my job they had a bar -b-Que for us.  I ate like a pig.  I didn't care if anyone noticed or not.  I had too many baked beans though, and have been having really bad gas all day.  It is kind of embarrassing when you work in public.  But, I really loved baked beans and have not had them in quite a while.  So I ate my fill.  No one at work said anything, but I am sure that they noticed.  Oh, well.  Life will continue. 

I had a pretty good sales day at work today.  Not great, but a decent amount in sales yesterday and today.  I should make $200.  I am also working on Monday.  Historically, holidays are normally good sales days, but in this economy, who knows. 

I have one more glorious night in this really nice hotel and I am going to enjoy it.  I am going to watch a movie, I could care less which one.  I am going to watch sports center.  A strange obsession of mine.  Take another really long bath and a good long sleep.  At least long for me.  And the most important thing, is that I don't have to have a bra on.  Sorry for the males readers out there, but oh my god, taking off my bra feels so good.  I don't do it when I am in the car.  I feel like if I have to get out I don't want to be running around in public like that.  I have four of them that I switch off with.  I washed them all out today and they will be dry before I have to check out tomorrow morning. 

I am thankful for the hotel room tonight.  It is pretty humid out there today.  So sleep would have been difficult.  I am back at it tomorrow, but for tonight I am in a bed in an air conditioned room.  Nothing could be finer to me right now. 

I hope you are all enjoying your 4th of July weekend. 

God Bless America!!!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Friday

First, my interview was great yesterday.  I was really worried, because I realized that I didn't have professional shoes.  With the type of work I do now standing on my feet all day, you go for comfort not for style.  My very extensive shoe collection of the past is something that has been lost upon the way.  I was really upset thinking this could be the difference in me getting the job, but there is no way a new pair of shoes is the budget. 

But, if she noticed them at all, it didn't bother her in the least.  This was the best interview I have had in three years.  I am trying not to get overly excited in case it doesn't go my way, but my confidence is growing a bit everyday.  I think that is a big part of what is going to get me through this. 

Kim's (not sure if I should be using her name or not) neighbor also had some odd jobs she wanted done in her yard.  The money she gave wasn't very much, but she did give me a hotel room for the weekend.  Her husband had reward points that she used.  Oh my, sleeping in a real bed again is glorious.  It also had a tub so I took a really long bath and soaked.  I watched a movie on HBO, watched Fox News, and slept for 12 hours straight.  I had no idea that I was that tired, but I guess I really needed it.  I have the hotel room until 11 am on Sunday.  I am not checking out one second early.  It is really nice.  The one night I did pay for a motel room it wasn't very nice or clean, but I was really sick and just needed to sleep in a bed for a few hours.  But, that threw my finances off the following week about gas and food money.  So I just can't afford that even as a little treat. 

The humidity is supposed to be awful this weekend so I am glad to have a few good nights of sleep.  Because I can't keep my car running all night, so what I do is when I have enough gas is to get the car as cold as possible before I nod off and hope that I can't stand the heat for at least five hours.  I have been lucky, so far this summer has been mild with the humidity.  I come from New Hampshire originally, so the humidity is not something I am used to.  It happens there, but nothing like down here.  You can get by without air conditioning there, it usually cools off at night and an open window is all you need. 

I also put out some feelers on Craig's list about doing odd jobs and I hope to get a little work that way too.  It also helps to use up some of the hours of the day.  Kim and her neighbor gave me some suggestions.  So we will see how that works out. 

I will start working at the summer camp next week.  I don't know a great deal about kids, but I do know the bible somewhat.  So I think I can relate to them in that respect.  I will be helping with the crafts.  It should be fun and if not, it is only a few weeks.  It will give me some cushion in my bank account.  I had to get my car registered and renew my driver's license so that took up a good chunk of my paycheck this week.   But I needed to keep all that legal. You will get caught here, no way around that.  Cheaper to pay now then get a ticket with a big fee later. 

I will try and write more tonight, but who knows I may sleep another 12 hours!!!

Have a good day!!