Saturday, January 14, 2012


I have decided that I am going to need a foot transplant after this is over.  The skin on my feet doesn't even look human anymore.  I can't even describe how gross it is.  There is nothing that I can do about it, because I need to wear the heavy boots to stay warm, but they get very sweaty when I am inside.  I can't carry around my boots everywhere.  I guess I could, but it isn't very practical.  They also just smell so bad too.  It is just plain gross.

I am also just so tired all the time.  You just can't sleep that long when it is this cold.  I only get maybe four or five hours a night.  That just isn't enough.  I won't be able to go anywhere to take a nap until Tuesday because of the MLK holiday on Monday.  The place I go to for naps will be closed.

But I have figured out some things about myself during this process.  I have realized that I am hearty.  I have survived this much to my own amazement.  I have learned that you can sleep without a blanket.  Something I didn't think it was possible until you try to sleep in a car when it is 80 degrees at 2 a.m..  I realized that you can sleep in a car when it is 25 degrees out if you layer your clothes properly.  I have realized I can sleep through hearing trucks emptying out dumpsters.  I don't even wake up at it anymore.

I have figured out how to keep yourself clean when you don't have access to a shower.  I have learned to realize my own company is not so bad.  I have figured out that you can still keep your pride when others look at you as someone who doesn't deserve respect.  I have also realized that pride sometimes gets in your way.

I have figured out how to fill yourself up with very limited funds.  But I think the most important thing I have figured out was how not to lose hope even when things are bad and it feels like it won't get better.  It will get better.  You just have to keep working at it and moving forward.

This isn't over yet, but I am getting closer.  I got an email today and my federal income tax will file on Tuesday, so that is going to be a huge help to me and give me the ability to get over my biggest hurdle that I am facing.  I should also be able to get most, if not all, of my car repairs done.

The light at the end of the tunnel is getting closer and brighter.


  1. It sounds as though you may have "trenchfoot" or at least the onset. I suggest you look up the symptoms and see if they match. If they do, you need to see a doctor immediately. At the very least, buy as many pair of white cotton socks as you can afford and change them multiple times daily. You cannot afford to lose your feet. CDC, wikipedia and WebMD have good info.

    If you are close to the end of the tunnel, don't make it an oncoming train.

  2. I saw a doctor today. Well, not really a doctor, but a nurse. She told me that I don't have it, but am in danger of getting it. They told me that I have feet dry and warm. Which of course isn't possible for me all the time. But she told me that I need to use talc everyday and change my socks every time they feel wet. Which as you said will require me to change socks several time a day.

    someone took me to the store, we bought some socks and some footless tights. I also got some talc.

    They also gave me a voucher for a hotel tonight so I can sleep without socks on after I soak them.

    thanks for letting me know.