I am feeling very down tonight. I am not sure why. I feel like I need to lie down and cry for a few hours. Of course, I can't really do that, but I get this feeling it may make me feel better to get it out.
I have been having bad stress headaches lately. I can tell that they are stress induced because of where the pain is. Stress related headaches are very predictable in location. I am not someone who is prone to headaches, so it is pretty obvious why I have it.
I seem to go through phases where emotionally I do fine and then I feel like I am falling apart a short time later. I would think it is normal under my current set of circumstances. I am low on food supplies, I don't have much money without dipping into my savings. My paychecks are not something that I can remotely live on. Once I pay all my bills I don't have much left. My car insurance payments increased, my taxes increased, my storage unit increased, my phone bill remained the same, but I have few minutes and less options. I don't use the phone all that much so it won't really effect me. I should consider myself lucky that they didn't increase the costs. I have the least expensive phone coverage you can have. I only pay $26 per month.
I was able to wash my hair yesterday so that made me feel better. I have not taken a full shower in a week, but I have cleaned myself daily. I have a great deal of clean clothes. Which is a relief because I don't have much money to spend doing laundry. It isn't much, I can do a great deal with $6.50, but that is less money I have for food. It all adds up.
My stress is coming from having to use money from my savings. The more I use from the savings the longer this will continue. I try as hard as I can to spend as little as I can. I eat inexpensive foods most of the time. I do try and eat one good meal every week with a full array of foods to get protein and the vitamins I need. I ran out of vitamin supplements a few months back and I have decided not to spend the money on them.
I am getting prepared to spend money on allergy medication. Ever since moving down here I get spring time allergies. I guess I am still not used to the different trees and things compared to where I grew up. That stuff is very expensive. Even if you get the store brand. In the past I have to take it for two months. With it being a warm winter we are going to have an early spring I would think. At least in terms of flowers.
I just want my life back.
I have been following your blog for months, but never registered or commented. I just want you to know that I hope your situation improves. And remember that there are many of us out here that pray for you regularly and admire your strength.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I don't feel like I have a great deal of strength though. I guess looking back at this situation years from now I will realize that I do, but I don't see it today. But thanks for seeing it and saying so.
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