Sunday, February 19, 2012


I am feeling very down tonight.  I am not sure why.  I feel like I need to lie down and cry for a few hours.  Of course, I can't really do that, but I get this feeling it may make me feel better to get it out. 

I have been having bad stress headaches lately.  I can tell that they are stress induced because of where the pain is.  Stress related headaches are very predictable in location.  I am not someone who is prone to headaches, so it is pretty obvious why I have it. 

I seem to go through phases where emotionally I do fine and then I feel like I am falling apart a short time later.  I would think it is normal under my current set of circumstances.  I am low on food supplies, I don't have much money without dipping into my savings.  My paychecks are not something that I can remotely live on.  Once I pay all my bills I don't have much left.  My car insurance payments increased, my taxes increased, my storage unit increased, my phone bill remained the same, but I have few minutes and less options.  I don't use the phone all that much so it won't really effect me.  I should consider myself lucky that they didn't increase the costs.  I have the least expensive phone coverage you can have.  I only pay $26 per month. 

I was able to wash my hair yesterday so that made me feel better.  I have not taken a full shower in a week, but I have cleaned myself daily.  I have a great deal of clean clothes.  Which is a relief because I don't have much money to spend doing laundry.  It isn't much, I can do a great deal with $6.50, but that is less money I have for food.  It all adds up. 

My stress is coming from having to use money from my savings.  The more I use from the savings the longer this will continue.  I try as hard as I can to spend as little as I can.  I eat inexpensive foods most of the time.  I do try and eat one good meal every week with a full array of foods to get protein and the vitamins I need.  I ran out of vitamin supplements a few months back and I have decided not to spend the money on them. 

I am getting prepared to spend money on allergy medication.  Ever since moving down here I get spring time allergies.  I guess I am still not used to the different trees and things compared to where I grew up.  That stuff is very expensive.  Even if you get the store brand.  In the past I have to take it for two months.  With it being a warm winter we are going to have an early spring I would think.  At least in terms of flowers. 

I just want my life back. 


  1. I have been following your blog for months, but never registered or commented. I just want you to know that I hope your situation improves. And remember that there are many of us out here that pray for you regularly and admire your strength.

  2. Thank you. I don't feel like I have a great deal of strength though. I guess looking back at this situation years from now I will realize that I do, but I don't see it today. But thanks for seeing it and saying so.