Monday

I survived Easter.  I didn't do much beyond going to church yesterday.  Someone was nice enough to help me with a hotel room for the evening.  Which was good since so little was open yesterday and I was very limited to where I go to use a ladies room.  So thanks so much for that.

I slept very well being in a bed for a change.  I feel like I can sleep for days when I have this type of privacy and am laying down flat.  But the best part is being braless.  It may sound strange, but it really is.  Try wearing a bra 24 hours a day for just a week and you will see what I mean.

I came across this article on homelessness and veterans.  Apparently most of them are women.  I know that most of the homeless people that I have met are women.  Many of which are recently divorced.  The homeless vets that I have met have all been men.  Two of which were discharged because they had mental problems.  I talked about the homeless vet before I am sure.  He seems like a very nice man, but he has paranoid delusions and thinks the government is trying to poison him so he won't take his medication.  Of course without his medications his life will never improve.

The article talks about the lack of available housing for homeless vets.  But there is a lack of housing for all homeless.  I realize that many people think that most homeless people are just bums who brought their life upon themselves.  That is true for some, but certainly not all.  What available help that there is will go to parents with small children.  Which of course it should.

Oh, the woman with the two small kids called me yesterday to wish me a happy Easter.  She got a hold of a relative that lives in another part of the country and she is going to live with them, at least for a while.  I am happy for her and her kids.  She feels bad taking them out of their school in the middle of the year, but it has to be better than living in a shelter.  She is taking the bus in the next few days after she gets the money he sent her to get the tickets.  She sounded much calmer when I talked to her yesterday.  I am glad that I was able to help her while she was figuring out what to do next.

That is one of the issues with being homeless.  Especially in the beginning you are so overwhelmed with the fact that you no longer have a place to live that you are not really thinking clearly.  It happens so much faster than you think.  Even if you know it could happen you still keeping hoping that some miracle is going to happen and you won't end up that way.  I know with me, I was able to stave it off for much longer than what I really should have.  But in the end it happened anyway.  The first two months or so I was so depressed I could barely function.  But you adjust.  One of the people at the emergency number I spoke to told me that I have acclimated to my situation.  Which I have in many ways.  You don't really have a choice.  You adjust to your surroundings and deal with your reality.

I still go through bouts of depression.  I am in one now I think.  I feel like crying all the time.  I don't because I don't have the privacy to do it.  But the feeling is there.  I know I should cry it out.  I think it would help me get it all out.  When I was going to the gym everyday I could get it out with a good workout.  But the gift card I had gotten for the membership ran out and I can't spend my money that way.

I have run into another homeless person I starting seeing when I first became homeless.  I had thought he had found his way back to permanent housing.  But not so.  I don't know where he has been for the months that I didn't see him.

The good news being I have not seen creepy guy in a very long time.  For that I am very grateful.

I still have some damage on the skin on my feet.  I guess that is going to be permanent.  It is on the bottom of my feet so it won't be that noticeable and it doesn't hurt anymore.  The stuff on the top of my feet has healed.