Sunday

Since I spend all of my time out in public I overhear conversations constantly.  I don't mean to listen, but it really can't be helped.  I am beginning to think that we are just so stupid to re-elect Obama.  One night there was a tv commercial on about the debt and the economy done by an obviously right leaning organization.  The guy said very loudly that they can blame Bush for the economy. 

Now, when I lost my job Bush was president.  I was among many others who were losing their jobs at the time.  Hundreds of thousands were losing their jobs every month at that time.  To be honest I wasn't overly concerned at the time.  Looking back at that now I realize it was a mistake.  But I had enough money to live on for at least a year if I was careful.  I collected unemployment for three weeks before finding the job selling furniture.  To me that was going to pay my utilities and car note.  I would use my savings to pay my mortgage.  I figured I would be ok.   Obviously it didn't work out that way.  I know now that I should have rented my apartment much sooner than I did.  But shoulda, woulda, coulda.  I can't change it now. 

As I have said before I didn't pay very close attention to politics until it was time to vote for president.  I didn't even really pay attention to until well after the selections for who was going to run was done.  I guess I would start reading up on them in mid October or so.  The last election I didn't really need to do that.  The primary process between Clinton and Obama was so protracted and nasty that I did pay attention to it.  Mind you I still didn't go vote in the primary, but I paid attention more than I had before.  I knew by the time that Obama got the nomination that he would be president and it would not be a good thing.  McCain never really had much of chance.  The media helped with the argument that he was just going to be Bush #3.  People were mad at Bush for the wars and blamed him for the souring economy.  People were scared watching their investments for retirement becoming worth less and less.  I know I was very worried about Aunt Bessie.  She came from the generation where people didn't stick money into a 401(k) from a young age like people do now.  Or at least have the ability to.  So her meager savings and investments have to last.  She doesn't get much from Social Security.  Luckily she came from a generation that people had pensions from their employment.  But still, it isn't easy for her; she has to spend carefully.  Aunt Bessie voted for Obama.  She was scared and I can't blame her for that. 

I don't know why people would be any less scared now.  Matter of fact, shouldn't they be more scared?  The economy isn't getting better except on paper.  According to economic models were out of the recession in June of 09 or somewhere around there.  Do you think we are out of recession?  Does anyone really believe that people's lives are improving?  I am sure that some are.  I am sure that some feel that have economic security; at least for now.  I used to think that way too.  I even thought that when I first lost my job.  I will even go as far to say that I didn't realize how unstable my position was until about last summer.  By that point I was already renting a room and had just sold my car to get rid of my high car payment.  I bought a used one that I thought would last me at least 2 years. 

But then the realization that I was really in trouble hit.  Virtually all of my savings was gone at that point.  My job had recently cut my commission levels and people were just not buying as much anymore.  I went from making about $1500 per month to making $700.  My rent was $600.  I had just used the last of savings to pay off my car note so even if I could find a cheaper rent, I didn't have the money for the deposit.  Then a few months later they cut my hours.  I knew all as over for me then.  I knew that unless I found a better paying job I would be on the streets.  I was lucky that I was able to stave it off until the weather became more mild.  I didn't want to be in my car when it was in the 20's. 

So to me I don't understand how people are still blaming Bush for this.  Yeah, he was in office when this crisis started for me, but he was well out of office when it really became a crisis.  Bush didn't spend all that money on a stimulus that wasn't really needed.  If the recession technically ended in 6/09 the stimulus didn't do that.  It would have been recovered on it's own.  All the stimulus did was get us closer to the time that we had to raise the debt ceiling.  The nastiness that is happening now with all the talk in Washington is causing more problems for the economy.  The markets are reacting to the unknown, they don't like the unknown.  When the markets react, the average small business owner suffers.  The line of credit is harder to extend and then the layoffs usually follow shortly thereafter. 

I saw this lady on a really main road the other day with a sign that said lost my job and desperate, please help.  She looked like she was middle aged and dressed in neat and clean clothing.  I wanted to stop and talk to her.  Not that I can much to help her in my current position, but I really thing I could give her some advice on what I did to cut my costs.  Also some of the mistakes that I made.  Like I said, I should have rented my apartment sooner.  My mortgage was by far my biggest expense.  If I had been able to save on that I may not be in the position I am in now. 

With my car being in disrepair and in danger of overheating, I was not able to stop.  But she can't be the only one.  There are millions of others who are just like this lady.  Who are afraid of becoming me.  She may have kids at home, which make her feel even more desperate I am sure.  I only have to worry about myself.  I can survive on eating bread for a few days.  I don't like it, but I can (and have) do it.  But imagine only having bread to give your kids for days.  The guilt and the shame you would feel. 

The bottom line is that maybe McCain wouldn't have done a better job.  Maybe we would still be here had he gotten elected instead.  But it seems pretty obvious that Obama isn't up to the task.  While I don't believe that a president alone can make the economy better, he (or she) has the power to make it worse.  Obama has made it worse with all interference and additional regulations that are spooking small business owners into not wanting to invest.  Without investment from the private sector, the economy will not grow. 

I actually overhead some woman say last night that things in this country started to take a turn for the worse when Reagan was in office because of the deregulation that he did.  Huh?  Poverty levels decreased under Reagan overall.  Poverty levels also decreased under Clinton when he was pushed into changing up the welfare system.  People were forced to go out and support themselves and once they did find jobs, their lives improved. 

I read recently that the new CAFE standards for cars that Obama is putting into place is going to cause more car deaths, because the car companies will be forced to make the cars lighter.  Lighter cars will kill more people and cause more expensive repairs when you are in an accident.  How exactly does this new regulation help people?  It must be that stupid belief that we are saving the earth this way.  The difference in emissions is so meaningless that it is all just for show.  If global warming is real, it won't help.  So why do it? 

We just may be that stupid that we re-elect this man.  Very scary for that lady I saw with the sign the other day.  She may be writing the next homeless blog you see. 

Friday

Sorry I have not been around for a while.  Time has kind of escaped me this week. 

It hasn't been a good week for me. 

The bookstore that I hang out in a great deal is going out of business.  They have some great deal on books, but since I can't afford them it is meaningless to me.  But this may mean that I won't have any place to go that is air conditioned past 9.  Which will really stink. 

The other day I bought some groceries with virtually the last of my food money for the month.  The things that needed to be refrigerated I brought to work.  Today when I went to have my lunch I realized that the majority of the food had been stolen.  They left the pita bread that I brought to go with the hummus and spinach dips that I got on sale.  So all I have left until Monday is bread.   They also took my fruit and my yogurt.  This was very upsetting to me.  Somehow I doubt that they are homeless.  I don't get taking food that doesn't belong to you.  If they are that hungry they should ask.  This is the first time that I was able to buy melon in quite a while.  It is pretty expensive and since I don't have the ability to keep things I don't buy it.  I was really looking forward to eating that today.  It really made me mad because they went through the bag and took what they liked and left the rest.  Picky thieves, but thieves all the same.  I actually have another word for them.  But, I will leave that alone for the moment. 

This just added insult to injury with these groceries.  By sheer stupidity I shoved my car key into the bag on my way to the bus stop that morning and I didn't take it out and put it my backpack.  I left the key there and didn't realize it until it was too late.  I had to spend the night walking around because I couldn't get into my car.  I realize how lucky I am to have the car even more than I did before.  It may be a little easier to sleep on really hot nights outside, but I didn't like that at all. 

I have not gotten the test taken for my car yet.  I was going to do that on Thursday but that got thrown into chaos because of being up all night when I couldn't get into my car.  I have scouted out three locations that I can take it to.  I am going to get the test done at the cheapest place and then see where the best price is from the three.  I can only drive the car so far, so I can't be all that picky.  I am also hoping that I can be allowed to buy the parts myself.  Not all places will allow you to do that.  I do know that the fan is not working, but I don't know if that is because of the switch or because of it really needs to replaced.  The fan was less expensive than I thought.  It isn't all that much more than the hose.  I find that strange, but that is what I saw on Advanced Auto parts when I looked it up. 

Have a good night. 

Monday

The heat wave has been broken.  At least for tonight.  I will get some much needed sleep.  I can't believe how tired I am.  I napped some today, but I kept getting woken up. 

I am so grateful that I will be able to sleep tonight.  It is still quite warm, but nothing compared to what it has been since Friday. 

I think I am going to go sleep now as matter of fact. 

Have a good night all.

Sunday

My least favorite day of the week.  I did catch a bit of a break tonight.  I was allowed to hang out somewhere for well past how long I thought they would let me stay.  So that was nice.  A much welcomed extra 90 minutes of air conditioning. 

The heat has been pretty brutal.  But I have figured out a few ways to make it a little more bearable.  I have some small face clothes with me.  I get them wet and then wrap it around a bag of ice.  I put the around my neck so that helps.  I can at least fall asleep for a while. 

Since I have not been in this situation in the winter I can't say which is worse full summer heat or full winter cold.  I would think they both equally as dangerous.  I can't imagine I will still be in this situation when the winter comes.  But, I will tell you I would welcome an end to this heat wave. 

I realized today that I had my soap with me, I thought I had put it in my storage unit.  So that was another piece of good news.  I don't have spend money on it, and I can get my hands back into shape.  They feel like I have little needles sticking in them.  I also have all this peeling skin.  I never realized my skin was this sensitive.  I have never had these issues in the past. 

I treated myself to a movie last night.  I found a coupon online and only had to pay half price.  I went to see Friends with Benefits.  I fully expected it not to hold my attention and I would take a nap.  It was a funny movie.  A lie of a story line that sex and emotion are mutually exclusive of one another.  They are not.  But it was funny all the same.  One of things that I liked about it was how they mocked romantic comedies in the movie.  Justin Timberlake is a good actor. 

They seem to play movies in this theatre almost all night.  So I hung around in there until late.  I went into where Bad Teachers was playing.  I don't feel bad because I did fall asleep so I didn't watch a movie I didn't pay for.  I also think they expect people to do that and that is why they charge so much.  A box of Thin Mints was $5.  Who would pay that?  You can go to the Safeway and get them for $1 sometimes.  I didn't have any candy with me, but I did bring in my own drink.  They must have a huge profit margin. 

I should look that up sometime.  If I ever get rich I am going to invest in multiplexes. 

In any event, it was nice to feel like a normal human being for a night.  I just a girl out to the movies.  Granted I was alone, but I have been to movies on my own before.  I also got some sleep in a dark cold room for a while too.  Bliss.

Have a good night

Saturday

The heat was a little overwhelming last night, but I survived.  It should be cooling off after today.  We may even get some storms today.  For me a wonderful thing.  I am hoping that they do come in. 

Here is another thing that you would never think about before being in this position; hand soap.  You are using public restrooms all the time so you are stuck using the soap that is provided.  Most places have hand sanitizer now.  But some people can't use too much of that because of the alcohol in it.  Well in some cases the soap isn't all that much better.  My hands look scary.  They are all red and they hurt.  I am not sure if it is the hand sanitizer or the soap that is causing it. 

Some places use really cheap soap, and for anyone that has sensitive skin it will cause irritation over time.  This is a relatively new problem.  It just starting happening about two or three weeks ago.  But it is starting to get worse.  I have some soap in my storage, but due to my car issues it is too far away for me to get to.  I will have to go and buy a small thing of hand soap.  It will be well worth it.  A strange think to be walking around with in your bag, but oh well.  It can't be helped. 

I am off to work.  Here is to hoping for some great sales today.

Have a good day. 

Friday

I just can't catch a break these days.  My car is in disrepair now to top off everything else.  I was thinking yesterday it would be a relatively minor repair, but it won't be.  The temperature gauge or whatever it is called is no longer working.  Either that or fan itself isn't working.  But either way it doesn't come on anymore.  The engine gets so hot that it has damaged some of the hoses.  I thought I could just replace the hose.  Which I suppose I could do for a stop gap measure.  But now that I went online to see how much that hose is it makes no sense.  The hose itself is almost $150, and that my cost before the repair mark up.  Most repair places won't let you buy the parts yourself.  The repair is probably going to be around $1,000.  Money that I in no way have.  I can't imagine I will have that much money for months, as my pay just covers my monthly expenses and if I am lucky allows me to save a small amount.  Although I will be saving money on gas. 

The car isn't drivable for more than a few miles.  But the good news is that it will still work as a closet and bedroom.  I can get to work easily on the bus.  So that won't be a problem either.  It will be getting to the gym for showering that is going to be difficult.  But, if you remember I posted recently that I found a stall that has its own sink.  If I time it right, I can wash my hair in there with very people realizing what I am doing.  I realize it shouldn't be my first concern, but I try and limit my embarrassment level as much as I can.  Sponge bathing yourself is pretty easy to do and can be done almost anywhere. 

Yesterday was my last day at the camp.  I had fun.  I am glad that I was given the chance to do that.  It didn't pay all that much, but it was something.  Every little bit helps.  My storage bill for the month of August is now paid, my phone is paid until mid month, my car insurance is paid until October.  I don't have much left over, but enough to keep me in food and put a small amount into savings.  Which I guess is just going to get my car fixed at some point. 

The heat is brutal.  But there is nothing that I can do about that. 

Thursday

I just read that President Obama's campaign is trying to get people to have house party's to celebrate his 50th birthday.  Hey anyone up to coming over to my car?  I can seat five. 

I can only afford the the $25 party pack.  Sorry no t-shirts

But it does include a party hat and buttons.  So let me know if you want to party in my car so we can re-elect the man who is doing absolutely nothing to fix the economy in any meaningful way.  If he gets re-elected I might just have to get a sleeping bag because I won't be able to afford my car anymore either. 
BYOB I can't drink and drive.

Thanks to Jill.