Friday, April 15, 2011

How it Began

My life has spiraled completely out of control to the point that I will be homeless in 16 days.  I have looked and looked for a full time job and cannot find one.  I have do have a job, but it is part-time and pay minimum wage plus commission.  The problem is that I am selling furniture from a major department store.  Furniture is not something that people have a great deal of extra money to spend on at the moment.  I am lucky if I make $200 per week.  It isn't something that you can live on. 

I used to have a very good job, but the crash of the economy took care of that.  I was in marketing.  That is always the first department to go and the last to be hired back.  I don't expect things to pick up in that for at least another year. 

I have been preparing myself for this four about five months now.  When a friend asked me what I wanted for Christmas I said a gym membership.  She went all out and gave me a one year membership.  This will be where I shower.  I also know that compared to many other homeless I am very lucky indeed.  I have not only a computer, but a car as well.  I have sold pretty much everything else I have of value and what little else I have managed to hold onto I will move into a storage.  I was lucky to find a place that had very small storage areas as I don't need much space. 

I have made this sound like this is new, but I have been staving off being homeless for almost two years now.  But, when I first lost my job and had to move out of my very nice apartment I put all my stuff into storage and moved into a room I rented.  But my money didn't last that long and I ended up forfeiting everything that was put in there.  So I don't have much left. 

I have had to learn in the past few years that you can go without.  I don't have many friends in this area as I moved here to be with my ex boyfriend, but that relationship fell apart shortly after me moving here.  Now I don't have enough money to get back east where I grew up.  I am not sure how that would even help me at this point as I don't really have much family to speak of.  Only a brother that I have not spoken to in ten years.  A long sad story of how just because you are family, doesn't mean you get along. 

I have convinced myself that this is a learning experience and I am trying to look at as an adventure.  As I said I have had time to mentally prepare myself for this so I have figured out different things that I can do.  I live in a major urban area so there are diners that are open all night.  I figure I can go in there and get a cup of tea at night and read.  I will stay until I get really dirty looks.  I also figure I can park my car in a light parking lot of a McDonald's that has a 24 hour drive through.  I am thinking I will be relatively safe there.  I also know that on my days off I can spend time at the local bookstores and libraries for temperature controlled safe areas that I can doze off if need be. 

The biggest issue is going to be that because gas is getting so damn expensive I have be careful about how much driving around I can do.  I am going to keep things in my car for washing up and change of clothes.  As I said I don't have much so it should fit in my car comfortably.

I am trying to avoid panhandling as I really can't stand it.  Although I know that I have been generous to street people that I have seen.  There was once this homeless guy that I saw every morning on my way to work many years ago, and I would always bring him my leftovers.  His name was Andre.  He explained to me that he fell on hard times due to drugs.  I never gave him money, but I always made sure he had some decent food.  I was doing very well at the time; had a good job and was madly in love.  I always said there but for the grace of God go I.  Now, I guess God has decided that I have some lessons to learn and has decided in his wisdom that it is my turn. 

I am hoping that I survive this without it turning into anger at God or anyone else for that matter.  Because I am going to be on the outside looking in. 

I will be putting up a paypal account and if you could find it in your heart to help me, I would greatly appreciate it.  I am not doing this for that purpose solely.  I am hoping that I can educate people on the fact that it truly is luck and grace that it doesn't happen to you.  I am a conservative person in almost all ways, especially politically.  I don't like having to depend on handouts, so I am only looking for a hand up until I can get settled again. 

I will try and post as often as I can.  I am at the mercy of using public wifi soon, but I have been amazed at how many offer it now.  This will be my homeless diary.  I am hoping that it won't last too long. 

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