Saturday, May 5, 2012


I was wrong, I don't have a bladder infection.  It is one of the girlie things.  I have never had one before so I guess that is why I didn't realize that what it was.  I also have my period, so life is uncomfortable for me to say the least.  I do have to say that today is the first day that I have felt better in more than a week.  I still am a little uncomfortable, but not as much as I have been over the past week or so.  The irritation was very annoying.  I was under the false impression that yeast infections came about from sex.  I can say with 100% certainty that is not the cause of mine.

I did meet with a very nice man the other day and he gave me some real help that will lead to better things for me.  He is the first one to really address the needs that I have. So I am very grateful.  My only regret is that I had not made it to him sooner than this.  But as I have said many times this is a big giant circle and breaking free of the circle is not easy.  Finding the right church to talk to is hard.  It is a crap shoot.  It is like the gerbil on that stupid ball.  They run and run, but never arrive anywhere.  That is how I have felt.  I feel like I have a better destination now.

I was able to get a shower, which always makes you feel better.  There is dignity in being clean, warm, and fed.  They seem like such basic things, but for people like me they are not.  Which is part of the reason that getting out of being homeless isn't as easy as one would think that it is.  You spend your time obsessing about the next meal, clean clothes, and sleeping more than just a few hours at a time.  How all encompassing that is can be difficult for a person who hasn't experienced to understand.

I ran into another woman I thought had gotten back on her feet, but apparently has not.  I haven't seen her in so long that I just thought, well good for her, she has a housing situation.  But, I guess not.  I also got to see my vet friend the other day too.  He seems like a nice man, but he thinks that the government is trying to poison him so he won't take his medication for his delusions.  He will spend a lifetime in this cycle.


  1. Cranberry juice is way out of my budget. I read about that online, and it almost $5 for a bottle.

    One of the things that I miss more than anything else is fruit. Regardless of it is in juice form or not. I just can't afford it. An apple at my local store is almost a dollar.

    To be honest, that is how my rebellion takes form. I have always believed a little rebellion once in a while is a good thing. I used to buy new shoes, now I buy a cup of the cut up melon. It is $4 or so and it doesn't fill me up, but every once in a while I do it anyway.