Friday

I don't know if you remember but I had said previously that for the homeless feet are really important.  Well, this experience is really showing on my feet.  I have all kinds of blisters and my skin looks awful.  Most of it is because of them being sweaty so much of the time.  You are stuck between your feet being cold or being hot.  When it is cold you need to wear layers to stay warm, but you can't always find the sweet spot of being warm and being too hot.  When it was summer I could easily put lotion on them, but that is much harder now that I have all these layers on.

Tonight for instance is going to be right around the freezing mark so I need to have several layers on to sleep comfortably.  I slept fine last night and the temperature was about the same, but I had on tights and socks with a pair of lined boots.  Had I not done that I would have been cold.  I have tried sleeping in my sneakers in this weather and my feet feel like blocks of ice when I wake up.

My skin is also very dry, because with all the layers it is next to impossible to put lotion on in the evenings before I sleep.  So I get itchy because of the lack of moisture.

Just one more thing to look forward to when this is finally over.  Sleeping without socks with feet and legs that have just been doused in lotion.

Thursday

I am really tired.  I didn't sleep well last night at all.  It was not so much the cold, but the wind.  I am not exactly sure why it kept me awake, but it did.  I was able to take a nap this afternoon for a few hours, but I am still really feeling tired.

Tonight is due to be colder than last night, but it is not nearly as windy.  So I am hoping that I can get myself warm enough to sleep and stay asleep for at least six hours.

I am also feeling very hungry, but I just don't have much in the way of extra money for the next week or so, and budgeting my food costs is vital for me this week.  The days I work are fine, I can use the microwave.  But the days I don't is when it gets difficult.

I also can't take naps on the days I work.  So it is important for me to get as much sleep as I can the night before.  Especially since work is kind of slow right now, and it gets boring just standing around.  Which I guess I don't do much else other times either, but at least I can read or something.

My gym membership expires next week and I don't have enough to extend it, so I am losing my free place to shower.  There is that sink I can use, but it will difficult with the cold weather.  It was no big deal in the summer time.

I am just hoping that this is going to be over soon.  It has been a real emotional drag on me and it is showing.

Tuesday

The weather has been delightful this week.  Warm enough that I don't even need a coat to sleep.  That will be becoming to an abrupt end later this week.  It is supposed to go down to the low twenties by the weekend.  I don't know how long it is going to last.  I keep hoping for a El Nino winter.  Or is it El Nina?  Whichever it is, I hope to have as much of that this winter as possible.

I will have to go the shelter again this weekend.  I will try Thursday night and see how that goes.  If it is too cold to sleep, I will go to the shelter for the balance of the weekend.  My car is safe where it is, so that is big relief.  It just isn't close to internet access or to a bathroom that is easy to get to first thing in the mornings.  I have stopped having any fluids after 9:30 so I don't have to go so badly when I wake up.  For some strange reason I still have to go when I wake up.  I don't understand it.  I have no fluids and go at least twice before going to sleep and I still have to go.  Where are these fluids coming from?  Maybe this explains my recent weight gain.  I must be retaining a great deal of water.  I don't understand why.  I try to eat as well as I can under the circumstances.  I eat some vegetables at least once a week.  I eat fiber every day, and I get as much protein as I can.  Maybe I am eating too much bread.  But the bread is filling so it helps me.

I have started looking at roommate rental listings to see how much they are.  I am hoping that I will have enough saved up by February to get a place and be able to pay three months in rent saved up.  If nothing else goes wrong, I just may make it.  But I have to remember how little money I make this month at my job.  It is the slowest month of the year for me.  But I am not going to move somewhere until I know that I have some cushion and will be able to pay the rent for three months.  That will give me the time to figure out how to make it work moving forward.  I don't want to end up in the same position again.  This is going to be one time only experience.

Sunday

Sorry I have not posted in a while.  I don't have as much access to the internet at the moment.  So, it has been harder for me to post.  Things are going about the same.  Some nights are really cold, but there is still some warm nights too.  Well, not warm, but not really cold either.  With the proper clothing and my blankets I am fine.  The other night I was colder than I needed to be.  I didn't put on a turtle neck and I should have.  The problem is I hate wearing high collars, really hate it.  I feel like it is chocking me.  But, I need to keep my skin covered in order to stay warm.

I also have problems with my feet getting sweaty.  If I don't wear heavy socks and sleep with shoes on, I am cold.  If I do sleep with them on my feet get sweaty and then they stink.  Since taking a shower everyday isn't always possible it is dilemma.  But, I have to go with being warm.

This is a very slow time at work right now.  You work longer hours because of extra hours for shopping season, but people concentrate more on buying for others, not for themselves.  It picks up again the day after Christmas, but it is very slow most of December.  My sales this week weren't horrible, but they were not great either.  But, I have some stash so I will be alright for the rest of the month.  I am going to need to stay in a hotel Christmas Eve and Christmas Day so I have a place to use a bathroom.  But, I looked online and they are somewhat affordable.  If I can't find a nice one, I can stay in the flee bag place.

It is going to somewhat warm tonight and even warmer tomorrow night, so I should get some good sleep.  I have enough food to last me for a the rest of the week, so that is good too.

Well I am going to get to sleep early, since I should be warm enough.  I did stay in a shelter the other night, and I really do hate it, but it was too cold.  So I am going to take advantage of the weather.

Have a good night all.

Tuesday

Well I have a solution for my car.  Albeit a temporary one, but a solution.  So that is a great deal off my shoulders.  I will have access to it when I need it and it will be safer.  So I hope this is a start to the break I need to get my life back in better order.

I also made some contact with some former clients from my last job to see if they have any freelance work for me.  It will be a pain with taxes, but that really is the least of my concerns at the moment.  I am hoping for the best.

I had a good dinner tonight.  I try to eat one really one good meal a week and tonight was it.  I had steak and a baked potato with a Greek salad.  I found a coupon online so it wasn't overly expensive and if I eat raman noodles at work for the rest of the week I will be good.

I did make up a most of the sales I lost the previous week over the weekend between Black Friday and Saturday.  I was asked to work an extra shift this week so my outlook for the next paycheck seems promising.  We also usually get a bonus between the week of Christmas and New Years.  Last year that helped me stayed housed a few extra months.  The sales are down this year, so it will be less, but if I can get my car fixed I will be grateful.

Friday

I had a good day at work today.  I really needed it since I made no money last week whatsoever.  I could have made more if the people I work with were honest, but they are not.  They will cheat and steal to get money.  I am homeless and still realize that I need to still look at myself in the mirror at the end of every day.  But they don't seem to care.

I had a very nice meal yesterday.  I don't think I have seen that much food in one place in a very long time.  It was an expansive buffet.  I ate my fill.  The stuffing was amazing.  I don't know how it was cooked, but I never tasted stuffing that good ever.  I am not a big turkey fan, but there was plenty of other things to choose from too.

I am very tired, had a long day at work.  It was not as busy as they had hoped.  But, I did ok.

I am going to get some sleep since I really need it.  I hope everyone had a very nice Thanksgiving.

Wednesday

I am so tired.  Work has been long, but not money making.  I had some sales today, but not very much.  I sold next to nothing last week, so I can't even imagine how small my paycheck is going to be next week.  I can only hope that Black Friday and Saturday are good sales days.  I know I have a decent sale coming on Saturday.  She called today, but she didn't want to deal with the heavy traffic.  Although I heard from others that the traffic wasn't so bad.  I am staying close to work so I don't know what the traffic is, since I walk most places now.

I guess we will see.  I have somewhere to go and eat tomorrow, so that is nice.  The weather has been warm all week too.  Well, warm for late November.  But easy enough to sleep in.  So I will take my blessings where I can get them.  It is raining today and bit cool, but still not cold.  It shouldn't be getting cold again until mid next week.

I spoke to my Aunt today.  She is feeling good and doing fine.  I really miss her.  I have not seen her in almost a year.  I raided my piggy bank last year after New Year to go and see her.  I would love to do the same again this year, but I just don't think it will be possible.  The air fare has gotten more expensive and there is no way my car will make it that far.

I hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving and say thanks for all that you have.  I plan on being thankful that I am better off than many other homeless.